Old Boyfriends

Day 4,556, 07:24 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps
Old Boyfriends (Mandatory listening)
Day 4556 of the New World
May 11, 2020


I want to get one thing out of the way from the outset.

I am not playing eRepublik.

Gnilraps is functionally dead. I have killed him off in the meta. If you see him posting something on the forum or IRC or discord, it’s not me. It means I’ve been hacked. I’m serious.


But let’s face it, I can’t even die in this game for one day. Even my old enemies don’t want to see that happen.

For starters, I can apparently still bring a bit of damage to the battlefield, and GARRAM we need that! But also, I had built up quite a bevy of economic assets which continue to be a boon to Easy Company and whomever it is that is making good use of the stuff. I wouldn’t even know, I have been blind to this game for almost two years. (It was a big RL mistake for me to quit, by the way, but that is a story so complex and personal that I would only relate it to the most truly trusted and dear people I know outside of this game.)


So Gnilraps “lives”. But not.


It is true that I logged on to publish an article that I actually wrote. I wrote it in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep (for reasons again related to the big RL mistake it was that I quit to begin with) but I don’t want to confuse anybody with overobliquity, so let’s just focus on the fact that I wrote a thing for eRepublik for the first time in a very long time. And yes, friends, by “I”, I mean me, Gnilraps. I do have a tendency to overcomplicate things!


Well the result of showing up in the news racks of this game are inevitable. Those inevitabilities are what I actually enjoyed about playing this game back in the day when I played it. But I am not - despite the existence of this here article - playing. Gnilraps is functionally dead. I mean it. Leave me alone.


But people always used to ask me for help sorting out various questions. I used to enjoy mastery of the mechanics. Now while I wasn’t always completely correct in my solutions, I often was and my mistakes usually led to a flurry of writing from smarter people than I. So problems tended to get solved one way or the other.


And so my inbox was once again graced overnight with a request for an opinion relating to game mechanics. The person who asked it is someone I remember playing alongside. While I wouldn’t exactly call him an “old boyfriend”, he was someone I respected, and “old boyfriend” was the best Tom Waits song I could find for this article. (I’d tell you to sue me but you all rejected my horrible idea for an eSupreme Court). His avatar uniform bears familiar marks you would all recognize. His question is a very good one. But I am so functionally dead anymore that I cannot possibly offer him an answer.

So I come to you for help. I herewith reprint his question for you so that you, beautiful and smart and helpful community of eUSA, might save the day. He’s watching. Also, I’m paraphrasing, so my apologies to him for that.



Gnilraps,

I asked a mutual friend (editor’s note: someone I always trusted in the past) for advice and he sent me to you.

Several years ago I got Serbian citizenship because it was a good match with my Polish residence. I held Polish residence because I didn’t fully understand the permanence of attaching companies to holdings when Plato introduced it. (editor’s note: NONE OF US DID AND IT SUCKED!)

So for years I’ve worked my many dozens of companies in Poland while fighting with US MU’s every day. (editor’s note: this checks out) The cost of moving companies was always too daunting, so I kept them where they were.

I am no longer comfortable with my citizenship, especially in light of the Serbian invasion. Plus, now Poland has declared war on Serbia, so I can’t even work my companies anyway. I need to do something.

I suppose the long term solution is to establish a holding in eUSA and move my Polish economy one by one (which looks like it might take a year to do! Over 30Kcc to move one Q5 from Poland to eUSA and I have 17 of those plus more!). But perhaps the quickest fix would be to switch citizenship to either Poland or a country not at war with Poland. I doubt Poland would grant me citizenship since I’m coming from Serbia and a member of an eUS MU.

Do you have any thoughts?

Signed,
(dude I trust)


OK, eUSA, do your thing. Let’s help a brotha out.

I don’t know if it is possible for him to gain citizenship in eUSA, but if he is and if it can be done, I will personally donate 200Kcc to help him move his holdings to whatever state he moves his holdings to. If our borders are closed, I wouldn’t know so kindly forgive my asking. Either way, someone should know what this guy needs to do, and eUSA could certainly stand to benefit.

Meanwhile, you really need to return to your regularly scheduled clicking.