Pakistani Space News, Ltd - newspaper of touchdown thurman thomas

20

AIDS IS OVER

11 • Day 266, 10:23 • Published in Pakistan

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It seems that the filthy Americans who were buying up all our Q4 guns have left. We can now reduce the price of PAK-47s to their normal price of 30.00 PKR.

Enemies are everywhere in eRepublik. Our glorious Peace-Warriors must be prepared to

16

Nice Boat + Shot Out of a Cannon = Nice Cannon

17 • Day 259, 20:00 • Published in Pakistan

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The results of our two-round poll as to what we should rename Magic School Bus are in.
Because the votes for Nice Boat and Shot Out of a Cannon were very close (something like 25 to 22), and because there was heated debate about both names, we

9

INTELLIGENCE UPDATE

3 • Day 242, 11:03 • Published in Pakistan

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-Special Edition-

Pakistani SANDWORM spy satellites overflying the pig disgusting Swede military bases have provided valuable intelligence as to their forces.

With the successful repulsion of the cowardly Swedes from Germany last night, our

11

SUPERIOR PAKISTANI TECHNOLOGY HELPS PEACE-WARRIORS ON THE FRONT LINES

1 • Day 241, 18:39 • Published in Pakistan

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-SPECIAL EDITION-

Pakistani call to action:

As our brave members of the 300 travel to Germany on our advanced SPAAAACE transportation systems to fight the pig-disgusting Swedes, their supporters on the home front continue to work tirelessly to

6

NEW NUCLEAR ENGINE PROMISES TO PROPEL PAKISTAN EVEN FURTHER

2 • Day 228, 17:06 • Published in Pakistan

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PAKISTANI SPACE PROGRAM RESEARCH CENTER, KASHMIR

Dissatisfied with the thoroughly mediocre performance of current rocket engines, PSP scientists have turned to the best source of rocket propulsion they could come up with on the back of a napkin: