Join the new world

(not by me but very true)

1. Its mielies, not corn! DUHHHHH!

2. Hijacking cars is a profession.

3. No sneakers, TAKKIES!!!

4. Whats a napkin? its Serviette!

5.People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Patience, Precious, Innocence and Given (ROCK ON!!)

6. You learn to save everything on you PC just incase of power cuts.

7. Travelling at 120 km/h and you're still the slowest vehicle on the highway.

8. The SABC advertises programmes you have just finished watching.

9. you get cold really easily. anything under 16C is arctic weather.

10. You call a 'bathing suit' a swimming costume.

11. You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you haven't had any.

12. You know someone who knows someone who met Nelson Mandela.

13. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting!

14. You have a totally cool, unique accent!!

15. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.

16. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

17. You eat Bar One, not MARS!!

18. You're familiar with 7de laan, Isidingo, Egoli, Takalani Sesame and Noeleen.

19. You know that McDonald's doesn't exist, its Steers.

20. You know that snow is a memorable and freakish occurence. Sometimes its even fake!

21. You know that a 'stompie' is a cigarette butt.

22. You know that while we call our friends 'bru' and 'boet' we dont all speak english with really bad Afrikaans accents, contrary to the way we are portrayed in ALL american and british movies.

23. You've seen Tsotsi and every single film made by Leon Schuster.

24. It makes you happy when someone in Hollywood is actually South African......Charlize Theron, Arnold Vosloo and Richard Grant.

25. One wor😛 Howzit.

26. You know that you are not gonna die of Cholera or any other Third World disease (unless we go across the border)

27. We know that the Metric System will always be better than whatever inches, feet, pounds and farenheit will ever offer.

28. You drive on the left hand side of the road.

29. You think of South Africa as being somewhat out of place within the African continent; surrounded by unstable ex-colonials who regard you as racist, imperialist and unfairly rich.

30. You know there is some sort of bizarre rivalry between Cape Town and Johannesburg.

31. You know that Johannesburg is called Joburg.

32. You know that Cape Town should be the capital because Pretoria is a hole. (ok....call me biased but I was raised in Cape Town)

33. You're not really sure if your capital city is called Pretoria or Tshwane.

34. You were to busy reading this to notice that 29 was missing.

35. Because you're South African, you didnt fall for that shit and you didn't go and check if there was a 29 or not (and if you did dont join this group)

36. You know that americans think we all live in mud huts and have animals in our backyards.

37. You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread......and actually grow to like it.

38. You've ever used the words - 'lekker', 'the bomb', rad, schweet - to mean good.

39. You know there is NO SUCH THING as a barbeque. Its a BRAAI. BBQ'ing is for sissies.

40. You know that a braai is a political arena; The person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad.

41. The private lives of rugby players and high-up politicians become more important than any other local or national news.

42. You know the national anthem, but still don't understand half of what you're singing. and you're ok with that.

43. Boerewors rolls & rusks. end of story.

44. You really hope that 2010 works out, worry that it wont and have already decided to blame the government if it doesnt.

45. You know that South African swimsuit models are the hottest on the planet, and no-one can tell you otherwise.

46. You know what Nik Naks and Simba chippies are.

47. You've sung along to 'Hier kommie bokke'

48. the word 'yes' has long been replaced with ja or yebo.

49. You have used the word 'eish' to express suprise.....or dissappointment.....or confusion

50. You've tried to imitate the way Nelson Mandela speaks.

51. You've not been able to find a particular place/street/building/town/city/province because its been renamed and no-one has informed you.

52. You've had to explain to a foreigner that maids are NOT slaves!!!!

53. You dont know how to put petrol in your car. The first time you go overseas and have to put petrol in your car, its a very strange experience.

54. You know that: a red ROBOT means stop. A green ROBOT means go. And an orange ROBOT means drive like the devil is behind you to get through before it turns red.

55. You know the difference between: 'now', 'now-now', 'just now', 'right now' and 'later'!

56. Ja-nee

57. The following slogans make sense to you:
*Agh Henry, i love it when you talk foreign like that (machiato)
*O O O O Oros
*Cell C, Cell C, Hummer, Hummer, Cell C
*Yebo gogo
*Ma remembered melrose!
*Met eish ja.......met eish
*They taste so good cuz they EAT so good
*People with a taste for life
*Tata ma chance
*jan pierewiet

58. You know that 'kak' and 'blyksem' are common english words.

59. You can't park you car without someone asking to watch it.

60. A taxi always has right of way and is not expected to follow the rules of the road.

61. You can't drive your car without locking all the doors.

62. You have had at least 1 thing stolen from you.

63. You gawk at American tourists.....they're so rare!!

64. You've been up Table Mountain.

65. You call a pick-up truck a bakkie.

66. You can never find a street you're looking for, the street signs are always missing, turned the other way or unreadable.

67. You can make jokes about the crime rate.

68. You know what siff means,

69. You know theres nothing to do in the Free State.

70. A taxi passes you, only to stop just in front of you.

71. When the road narrows, the guy behind you has the right of way.

72. The most popular vehicle is a 4x4 that is meant for snow or off road driving but people buy them for the express purpose of driving to the closest shopping center.

73. In every shopping mall there are 10 different curio shops all selling exactly the same things.

74. You know what an SMS is but have no idea what a text is.

75. You can't make a phonecall because the copper cables have been stolen.

76. You have seen employees dancing in front of buildings to show how unhappy they are.

77. The petrol in your tank is worth more than the actual car.

78. You know taking a taxi means sharing a seat with 40 other people.

79. You truely believe that your blood IS green and gold.

80. You try to imitate a heavy afrikaans accent and everyone in the room laughs.

81. You know fall as a verb, NOT as a season.

82. You call an elevator a lift.

83. You call the hood of you car the bonnet.

84. You call a trunk a boot.

85. Prisoners go on strike.

86. You know what melktert is, n love it!

87. You listen to Freshlyground, Karen Zoid and Fokofpolisiekar (sometimes simultaneously) and even though its not your type of music you love it!!

88. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement. (Some people disagree with this....i know its kinda exaggerating)

89. You know what Liewe Heksie is even if you havent watched it.

90. You've played tok-tokkie (or ghlassie ghlassie in some cases).

91. You've read every single 1 of these and known they are ALL true.

Created by my fellow South Africans (read these!!!, they're great):

92. we usually call traffic lights robots...if we did that in america or other countries alike we would be considered very strange!!!!! ~ Ella Petousis

93. We know coke tastes better than pepsi.~ Martin Walter Stander

94. You say kokies instead of felt pens. ~ Tracey Stark

95. You have absolutely no idea what number to dial to reach the police and know that it would be useless even if you did. ~Jan Peter Campbell

96. Taxi drivers think robots are christmas decorations they forget to take down each year. ~Bianca Koch

97. You either dont know your country has a new president or you cant even pronounce his name. ~Bianca Koch

98. Garage pies are the best midnight snack. ~Bianca Koch

99. Saturdays were made for rugby,boerewors and beer. ~Bianca Koch

100. Walking alone at night is considered suicide. ~Bianca Koch

101. You support every soccer team in the world except bafana bafana. ~Bianca Koch

102. You have so many languages of which half you cant even pronounce. ~Bianca Koch

103. It's a shopping centre not a shopping center. ~Johan Erasmus (I think he means center is spelt cerntre all the time, too, not just with shopping in fron of it)

104. Every plastic container is a tupperware.~Clerment Mc Sfoj Sefojane

105. Its tomato sauce, not ketchup! ~Onke Emmanuel Sotywambe

106. You know you south african when on a monday morning you open your shop and you see some1 broke your wall to get into the shop. ~Shaheen Haffejee

107.Slang is a language of its own. ~Moaaz Mehtar

108. We say check instead of see. ~ Moaaz Mehtar

109. When u come across bad news on the radio or tv, get a total shock, then change the channel and completely forget about it. ~Moaaz Mehtar

110. Despite everything u Wouldn't Want to live in any Other place in the World. ~Farouk Nabi

111. U know u in SA when every1 is talking abt 'Proudly South African' and 'Local is Lekker' but draped head to toe in MADE IN CHINA. ~Jocelyn Appenah

112. all the national sports team starts with ama... ~Pieter Pretorius

113. U knw your south african when your tv displays a meter reminding u 2 turn of sum lights. ~Andrew Waardenburg

114. u know ur south african we u call "crisps" chips. ~Jason Gordon

115. You know your are South African when the pommies ask you "Do you speak South African" meaning do you speak Afrikaans. ~Barbie Diedericks-Younghusband

116. When u send a please call me and u get 1 back. ~Jacqui Martch

117. You know you south african when you know what a koeksuster is. ~Garth Le Roux

118. Its circle not a roundabout. ~Michelle Bendel

119. You know you're South African when you go overseas, tell people you're from South Africa, and they say :"But you're white?" ~Quinton Hindle

120. 'Santa Clause' jus sounds like sum otha guy.... Its FATHER CHRISTMAS. ~Tanya Swanepoel

121. Whats a sidewalk? Its a P-A-V-E-M-E-N-T ~Tanya Swanepoel

122. When e.tv plays the same movies each year(or month) jus with a different time slot. ~Robinn Cornelius

123. When u flash ur headlights at the oncoming traffic to inform them that there are traffic officers where they are heading. ~William Maseloane