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Oh How Three Russia Epic Fails: Let us count the Ways

It all started back that hot summer day when Russia did NOT accept the United States embarrassing Peace/Surrender. Been all down hill since then. You failed Russia and you haven’t been the same again since.
Russia decided that leaving the US as a rump state with no future and no economy was Not a good idea. Instead you got lazy and stupid which led you to the Brilliant conclusion that you should NOT attack Florida when it was our last region and the key to all our MPP’s.



Then you (Russia) went on your Scandinavian adventure where you couldn’t defeat Sweden and Norway even though they are just as cold and have just as much Vodka as you do. They must hold their alcohol better than Russians.

While Phoenix won the initial battle in Japan they lost the eventual political battle to convince the Japanese not to let the US into Asia. Had your president been on the ball and had made a better presentation to the Japanese you might have kept us our. But you did not, Shocker there.
Furthermore, after the initial invasion it looked like the US had just about stretched itself out, just about when we failed to take Hellokitty, and just about when we were ripe for a counter attack. FAIL. Your President gets banned. BANNED! And this is when it gets stupid for Russia. Your own congress voted to keep the banned President in office, thus putting Russia on stasis lock for over a week. Just when Phoenix needed you the most your Powerpuff girl congress looses its god damm mind. Again, I point to vodka hemorrhaging the brain as evidence B your honor.
Oh this S**T, it gets better.



So Russia finally dumps the banned President and appoints a guy they hated so much the first chance they get he is canned in the next election. Love that leadership class out there in Russia, well be thankful you’re not Turkey I guess.
So, less than a week after their beloved President takes office, HE gets a temp Banishment. Way to pick your politicians. I guess they chose Presidents out there by playing Russian Rolette and whomever’s gun fires is declared the President.
Here you are Russia, your Hungary’s Lapdog, your government is a Joke around the world, and you couldn’t even take back Laoining when Romania was distracted so now your getting your ass handed to you by them both. You’re a third rate power who handed the reins of your alliance over to Hungary and Serbia while you drink too much vodka and Scandinavians look at your like your drunks. Hell Irishmen look at you and say “Laddie, your need to pull yourself together”.
At least you can say you’re not Turkey. .