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So, you are trudging around in the trenches of the enemy and you wonder where your life is going to end up since the last enemy you fought blew off your left arm with his bazooka. I feel your pain (literally); that happened to me this morning (stupid enemy bazooka's).

In light of this I visited the CP of France and handed him a petition to arm his soldiers with baguettes and possibly sharpened mangoes. But he said "F*** *** you English pig dog". So I said "Oh shut up you smelly French Frog". Then he said something else but I can't remember because one of his muscle-bound secretaries (her name was Audrey) pistol whipped me and the next thing I knew I was sitting at the bottom of a dungeon called "Où sommes-nous laisser les chiens de porcs anglais de mourir".

How I escaped is another story. But what I wondered was how could the French Country President be so smelly. Indeed, I am not being Xenophobic here as Audrey, the muscle bound secretary, smelled very nice indeed. In fact I was going to ask her out after I served my petition to the President but as I said, she pistol whipped me. I say she's just playing hard to get. Anyway my next petition to the French CP is one to say that he should install a shower in his presidential palace and perhaps he should use it from time to time. (Douche is the French for shower in case anyone was reading the title of this article).

Well I'm off to deliver that petition tomorrow so I'll let you know how I get on.

-Doucher1-