WAR WITH CANADA!

Day 792, 23:12 • Published in USA USA • by mjmnum1

Patriots! This so-called BROLLIANCE is a SHAM. It is fallacy! There is no reason our 52nd state should continue to exist. THEY DARE TO HOLD AMERICAN TERRITORY! THEY HOLD DELAWARE! FREE THE BLUE HENS!

Our first state is under foreign occupation. That is the bold and honest truth. We must destroy those bastard Imperialist maple eaters. We must conquer their Mounties. Their mighty phallus, the CN tower, must be laid low as if viewing BBW pron.

What have they done for us? When we were at our darkest, reduced to one state, where was Canada? NOWHERE! THE BASTARDS RAN AND HID BEHIND THE VEIL OF BEING "eliminated from the game." How convenient. How convenient. Right when we needed help the most, they left us on our own. And then, when we began the great struggle to retake our territory, where were our "Allies" then? Hmmmm? Fighting resistance wars. Rather than helping with our struggle, the CANUCKS selfishly reformed THEIR nation first. THEN, THEY HAD THE AUDACITY TO TAKE AMERICAN STATES.

Even to the very end, the Canadian lust for territory could not be slaked. When Russia counterattacked in Alaska, a high oil region, Canada had the GALL to counterattack. THEY BACKSTABBED US TO GAIN A HIGH OIL REGION! It was only through an intrepid action by the freedom fighters in the military that we were able to retake this valuable region from the icy, bloodthirsty claws of our "neighbors to the north."

My friends, we have only one option left to us, one course of action. We must declare war on this evil frozen empire. We must fight a defensive war by declaring war on our "allies". There has been talk on the Canadian forums of a lack of war hurting their retention. Friends, you see what will happen. Inevitably Canadian GREED will cause voracious eyes to turn southwards on our valuable regions like the Dakotas, the Great Lakes regions, and all of New England. The resources in these regions are EXTREMELY [size=8pt]semi[/size]-VALUABLE.

It is likely that, like any great conflagration, many territories will be consumed by this voracious Canadian horde, but we will prevail. Undoubtedly, the WAVE OF NEW PATRIOTS who rally to the flag will help turn the tide. We, in turn, shall conquer many valuable Canadian regions as well, before the tides of war turn against us again. A see-saw of war may wax-and-wane over the course of many months, resulting in many territories to be exchanged. BUT WE SHALL PREVAIL!

In closing, CANADIAN BEER SUCKS!

Your loyal compatriot,
mjmnum1

(PS-to those of you confused, here's the tl;dunderstan😛 Canada invades us, taking large numbers of low population, useless regions from us. Babies are born, take a look at the country, and realize we're under intense attack from the Canadians. They get more involved. We 'fight' back, doing the same to Canada, returning the favor. Rinse and repeat. For any major world conflicts, we either deploy the mobile forces or pause the war with Canada.

Real tl;dr: Permanent training war/region swap with Canada in order to fool babies into thinking we're under serious assault.)