War? What war?
Day 799, 09:47
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Published in Pakistan 
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by
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by Zammuel
I have heard a lot of talking going on about a war between India and Pakistan. I am not sure where this rumor has come from but let me please state here and now: There is no war going on between Pakistan and India, or any other nation! Punjab is not being invaded by anybody and has certainly not been taken over - I'm sitting on top of our Big Mac pyramid as I write this. I don't know where people got this crazy rumor from but it should stop being told before it causes panic.
There is no war going on in Pakistan. We are entirely safe. India considered invading us but then remembered that we have sandworms, and changed its mind. Stop saying we are at war, we are not. Please return to work and enjoy your large coke Wednesdays down at McDonalds (The official restaurant of Pakistan o/).
Signed,
- Zammuel, Congressman of Balochistan, Pakistani Military affairs spokesman, and Colonel in the Pakistani Army.
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Comments
First.
Fifth.
Well there is a war in Pakistan...
...in my pants.
There is a war in all of our Pakistani sand-filled pants, honey.
signed
There's a war...
a war on the dance floor baby!
Damn straight
/Makes stinging motion with hand-fins
- Zammuel, Congressman of Balochistan, Pakistani Military affairs spokesman, and Colonel in the Pakistani Army.
I'm sorry Zammuel, But Dio is all of those.
You can declare yourself as anything. Pakistan's congress is going under soon, so feel free to give yourself a position to last these last few hours.
Of course He is. I'm just taking His place until He gets back.