Vote Jizzie If You Want to Live

Day 1,704, 09:10 • Published in South Africa Sweden • by Jizzie McGuire

Yeah, I'm running for Congress again in Gauteng as a member of the DB-PF. You might ask yourself, "why vote for this googly-eyed clown? He doesn't do squat as a Congressman." Well sure, you're generally right, so how will it be different this time?

For one thing, I know how to rock. I may not do the devil horns correctly, but I can rock Rush on the guitar and I'm tight with douchebags like Sebastian Bach.

I will legalize marijuana and will start a space program so that eSA can make some money growing space weed.

I will also vote to take back all our regions from the Brazilian scumbags. If we can't do that, I'll break into their homes and the homes of the eSA Quislings and steal all their food and kidnap their pets.

So when it comes down to it, why wouldn't you vote Jizz for Congress in Gauteng? Even Grimstone can't figure out why you wouldn't vote for me.

Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell Randy Gonzalez... I'm comin'.

Thank you for wasting your time reading this article. Stay sexy my friends.