Join the new world

Nove mudrosti u koje me je uputio Učitelj otvorile su mi oči na stotine načina. Onog nesigurnog početnika koji je nadničario u tuđim fabrikama nestalo je sa prvim otkrićima o tajni Višestrukog Naloga.
Nakon prvih uspeha u korišćenju ove drevne veštine, postao sam vlasnik fabrika hleba i oružja, obe q3, obe sa stalnim zaposlenima. Čitao sam članke sa finansijskim savetima, mešetario na stranim tržištima, a problemu raspolaganja resursima, naročito zlatnicima, prilazio sam skoro religiozno. Kako su moja virtualna dobra rasla i umnožavala se, dobijao sam zalet koji me je mogao odvesti bilo gde... Nisam imao devojku.



Ali kako mi je to sve uspelo? Trag moje rastuće eMoći vodi nas nazad kroz vreme, pravo do Učitelja, kroz nove i nepoznate opasnosti...

Nekada, u maglovitim počecima...

Gledao me je ravno u oči, smrtno ozbiljan.
- "eDžedaj je kao senka muve na monitoru, njegova dela su nečujna, njegovi nalozi čvrsti i postojani, a sve njegove kretnje naoko nepovezane."

Razmišljao sam o ovome neko vreme, ali nisam shvatao - zašto bih se, sa svojim novootkrivenim moćima, krio i šunjao kroz eSvet, glumio zaverenika i boravio u senkama, kada mogu...
- "Ali, Učitelju, ta moć! Pa sa neograničenim brojem naloga, mogao bih da prikupim zlatnika koliko god mi treba! Mogao bih da postanem sam svoja vojska, da skupljam medalje, novac i hleb..."

Njegov ledeni pogled prekinuo me je u pola rečenice, ošamario me kao kučku
(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch+Slap)
i progovorio glasom kakvim još nikad nisam čuo da govori.

- "U ovom eSvetu se nikada ne smeš ponašati gluplje i nepromišljenije nego što bi u svom fizičkom telu! Postoje opasnosti..."
I onda mi je pokazao:

Stranicu za stranicom, pregledao sam profile korisnika trajno stavljenih van stroja. Za njihov novac nije se više moglo kupiti bilo šta, zlatnici su bili očišćeni ili su samo ležali naokolo, zamrznuti u vremenu kao pod nekom kletvom; njihova snaga nikada više neće ispisati nove brojke influence-a u nekoj bitci. Bilo je to groblje Posrnulih eDžedaja.
- "Kako je ovo moguće? Ko je toliko moćan da poseje ovakvo uništenje za sobom?!", pitao sam ustreptalo dok su mi prsti blago drhtali na tastaturi a u srcu rastao strah za sopstvenu eSigurnost.

- "Sada si video samo delić. Ova pustoš, poslednje konačište neopreznih i lakomih, to je mali iskaz moći, takoreći - samo jedna medalja na prepunom profilu Konačnog Neprijatelja, Admina."
- "Ko je to? Šta je to?"

- "Admin je eNebesnik, vrhunski Višestruki Nalog jedne neuhvatljive sile - on jeste ta neuhvatljiva sila! Ono što Admin kaže ne može se opovrgnuti. Sva njegova moć opisana je u ovom prastarom spisu koji ću ti pročitati..."
- "Ah, Učitelju, svakako mogu i sam da pročitam..."

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch+Slap

- "eSmrtničke oči ne mogu videti ove tekstove! Pažljivo slušaj:

Admin gleda na nas, puke Korisnike, kao na nestašnu decu svoju.
Njegovih očiju je puno,
njegova je ruka i mekana i čvrsta, i drži užareno žezlo
kojim će utući neposlušnike.



Uvek su njegove uši načuljene za prijave i žalbe,
i spoznaje Admin Korisnike svoje
po eNacionalnostima i post-ovima njihovijem.
I svagda on šalje vernog svog podanika,
strašnog svog slugu, koji je, poput samog Admina
uvek prisutan i sve-prisutan,
da pronađe one zlog jezika
i one što vasceli eSvet poganošću hakerizma zagađuju
i one što mnogim nalozima upravljaju,
velim, da ih pronađe i zanavek iskoreni!"

Da li sam u tom trenutku video munje i začuo urlik gromova negde daleko, nad Zemunom, ili je moja raspirena mašta sve to "učitala" u pozadinu Učiteljevog pričanja, ni dan-danas nisam siguran...
Nastavio je:

- "A njegovog slugu su videli mnogi,
iako Admina spoznati ne mogahu.
I slugi tom nadenuše mnoga imena, a imena njegova su:
Iskorenitelj Prekobrojnih;
Iskonski Pratitelj;
Ispunitelj Praznine;
A ja izračunah slova njegova i gle!,
ta slova behu slova vascelog surfovanja,
i njihov zbir je I. P."

Užasnut, slušao sam ove opise i već se u mislima opraštao od svojih ne-baš-teško-stečenih dobara. Svoj pad video sam kao nešto neminovno, a um pripremao na naredne mesece mukotrpnog rada od nule i na život eBebe - ponovo!

Učitelj mora da je lako primetio moju grozu, jer je potom njegov glas ponovo poprimio onaj blagi, mentorski ton koji je imao ranije.
- "Ti još uvek nemaš razloga da se plašiš IP-a. Dokle god svoje mnoge adrese ne iskoristiš u eRepubliku, on ti ne može naškoditi."

- "Ali znaće!"
- "Znaće, naravno. On je produžena ruka svakom Adminovom avataru. Ali Admin, koliko god veliki bio, ne može deliti svoju pravdu izvan eSveta. A čak i kad budeš koristio svoje nove naloge, ja ću te naučiti kako da ga izbegneš..."

Naravno, niko ko je iole pri zdravoj pameti ne bi se usudio da se bori protiv IP-a. Konačno rešenje bilo je upravo u onome što mi je Učitelj rekao na početku - bio sam kao senka muve na monitoru. Tu tehniku, pak, nisam mogao da usvojim bez određenih rizika po moje fizičko i mentalno dobrostanje, ali ostaće na nekom drugom članku da opiše sve strahote, opasnosti i iskušenja moje mukotrpne borbe koja je dovela do toga da postanem...


eDžedaj!

---

English version

---

New wisdom I have aquired from my Master opened up my eyes in a hundred ways. The insecure noob who worked in other people's factories was gone with the first discoveries of the secret of Multiple Account.
After initial sucesses in utilitising this ancient art, I became the owner of a food and a weapon factory, both q3, both with regular employees. I read articles with financial advice, stock-brockered on foreign markets, and adhered to the problem of resource management, especially gold, almost religiously. As my virtual wellbeing kept growing, I was given wings to carry me away anywhere... I was also single.


But, how did I do all that? The trail of my ever-growing ePower takes us back trough time, right to the Master, trough dangers new and unknown....

Once upon a time, in the hazy beginning...

Gravely serious, he looked into my eyes.
- An eJedi is like a shadow of a fly on your desktop - his actions are stealth, his accounts firm and adamant, all his movements seemingly uncomprehendable.

I thought about this for a while, but couldn't figure it out - why would I, with my newfound power, play hide-and-seek trough the eWorld, act like a conspirator and dwell in the shadows, when I could...
- But Master, the power! With an infinite number of accounts I could gather all the gold I need! I could become my own army, collecting medals, money, food...

His icy look stoped me in mid-sentence, he slaped me like a bitch (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch+Slap) and spoke in a voice I have never heard before.

- In this eWorld you can never act more stupid and reckless than you would in your physicall body! There are dangers...
And then he showed me:

Page after page, I was going trough profiles of users who have been put hors de combat. Their money could not buy a single thin any more, their gold either swept away or laying arround, frozen in time, as if they were under a curse; their strenght will heighten an influence in a battle never more. This was the graveyard of the Fallen eJedi.
- How could this be? Who is so powerfull to wreck this havoc behind him?!
I asked shaking while my fingers were shivering on the keyboard and my heart swelling with fear for my own eSecurity.

- You have seen but a fragment. This barren ground, the final destination for the careless and greedy, that is just a small display of power, just one medal, so to speak, on a profile full of them - that of the Final Enemy, The Admin.
- Who is that? What is that?

- The Admin is a eCelestial being, a supreme Multiple account of an elusive force - but he is that ellusive force! What The Admin says can not be defied. All his power has been described in this ancient text I'm about to read...
- Oh, Master, certainly I can read it myself...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bitch+Slap

- eMortal can not lay eyes on this lines! Listen carefully:

The Admin watchet over us, mere Users, as his playfull children.
His eyes are many,
his hand both soft and firm, holding a burning scepter
to smite the infidels.



Ever are his ears atuned for report and complaint,
and knoweth The Admin his Users
by their eNationalities and their shouts.
And ever does he send his faithful servant,
his terrible servant, who is, like The Admin himself
always present and all-seeing,
to find those of ill tongue
and those who hackerith the wide world
and those who hold many accounts,
I say, to find them and erradicate them!

Have I at that point seen lightnings and heard thunder somewhere far away, over Zemun, or did my flared imagination incorporate them in the background of Masters telling, I will never know...
He procede😛

And his servant was seen by many,
although The Admin the could not knoweth.
And to the servant they gave many names, and his names are:
Infidel Punisher;
Impervious Penetrator;
Immanent Predator;
And I counted his letters and behold!
those were the letters of all net-surfing,
and the letters were I.P.

Horrified, I listened to this descriptions and already said farewell to all my not-made-in-sweat goods. I saw my fall as a certainty and prepared my mind for months to come, filled with hard labor from the scrap and a life of an eBaby - again!

The Master must have noticed my fright, for his voice instantly changed to that mild, mentor tone it had before.
- You don't have to be afraid of the IP yet. As long as you don't use all your addresses on eRepublik, he can not harm you.

- But he'll know!
- Oh, he'll know for sure. He is the right hand of every Admin's avatar. But The Admin, as grand as he is, can not deal justice outside of the eWorld. And even when you use your new accounts, I will teach you how to avoid him...

Of course, no one in their right mind would dare fight the IP. The final solution was in what Master said at the beginning - to be like a shadow of a fly on the desktop. Still, I could not implement that technique without certain risks to my physical and mental wellbeing, but it remains a subject of another article to describe all the dangers, horrors and temptations in my excrutiating struggle that led me to become...


eJedi!