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Cromstar: A man who lives in America. A legend? No, but he's not entirely useless. I decided to let him feel like he's someone worth a mL of my saliva by asking him a few choice questions about his home country.

For reference: Cromstar is currently the US's Secretary of War. Americans prefer being lowly secretaries to their country's top puppet, the president, as their kneethrob-educing job helps conceal America's true rulers: The Illuminati Pig Jews.

Reference number 2: I spoke to Cromstar in my best American. For the sake of transparency in journalism, I've provided both the original American text as well as English subtitles.

I meet Cromstar at an ugly, chrome-covered cafe in downtown Anytown, USA. I'm sipping on a hearty lard coffee when Cromstar finally arrives, 3 hours late - no doubt because of the amount of effort and time involved in moving this fatty's disgusting, gigantic body. I mention my utter disgust at my surroundings, the beverage served to me, and Cromstar's appearance as he struggles into his booth: THIS BE STRATE UP SIK YO. He signals agreement by jiggling his torso to further wedge himself into his assigned seat.

Initiating pleasant conversation on US politics and war potential:

AAA.jp (American): YO BRAH WATS DA DEEL YO
AAA.lp (English): (Please give me a brief status report)
Cromstar: "The deal is that America kicks ass most of the time."
Dunks, a server at the homely diner pipes up to agree with the sentiment: "true facts"

AAA.jp (American): WERD DATS KOO. YO MAN WATS DA DEEL WIF YO MULTICOLORED PEOPLES YA MEEN
(English): (Confirming subject's status...
.....
Confirmed.
Please elaborate on America's disgusting and unnatural obsession with collecting as many different kinds of people possible.)
Cromstar: "America is a land of immigrants. Lots of people come here...and the incoming gold mine just increases the desire of people to immigrate"

AAA.jp: AH HEER DAT MAN. YO DUDE I HEAR DAT U UNDER PTO. WHO DO A BROTHA NEED 2 TLK 2 IF SAY I WANNA GET IN ON DAT?
(Understood. I also understand that you're under a PTO attack. Assuming one were interested in aiding your enemy, who would you recommend that person speak with?)
Cromstar: "If you wanted to help fight the PTO, Kody5 is the Secretary of Homeland Security. If you are looking for the people in charge of the PTO...well, there's a lot of them, but our good old American 'friend' Agay is in charge. He goes by Ronald Gipper Reagan this time around."

AAA.jp: WAT PARTY HE AT
(Which party is he administrating?)
Cromstar: American Freedom Alliance is the main party, but Cipelici is a big Serb party allied with them.
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AAA.jp: TY HXC. BRO DIZZLE - LISTEN. DUDE OVER HERE WANNA TAKE YA'LL OUT. LET ME IN ON THE DL ON DAT.
(If one were interested in destroying America, which route do you believe would be most efficient?)
Cromstar: "Easiest way to destroy America is get about a dozen nations and invade to wipe. Because Serbia has proved that the PTO route just doesn't work. We're still here over 6 months later."
AAA.jp: DEY JUS NEEDTA PUT DEY BACK INTO IT. CALLIN /b/LACKUP YA MEEN.
(Perhaps they're just not devoting the resources. What if a coalition assisted their attack?)
Cromstar: "I would think that more than 500 Serbians and their allies is a sufficient amount of resources to devote to a PTO of one nation."
AAA.jp: Y U HATAN
(Do you honestly believe that they cannot persevere?)
Cromstar: "I believe the PTO is doomed to fail. So the invasion route is the better option....if anyone has the balls to try and see t through to the end."

Editor's note: Cromstar, as typical American, is arrogant. Makes threats without ability to back up. Oversimplifies situation. Underestimates enemy. Overestimates own power. Typical.

AAA.jp: SAY A NIGGAZ GOT A MAN ON DA INSIDE. WAT HE GONNA DO.
(Cromstar, let's assume there was a mole in the American government. One who'd grown to much influence over the time that he'd been moling around in your fat, twisted tunnels of darkness and slime. How would you direct that mole if you were the enemy?)
Cromstar: "Make him POTUS. Get in good with a party, work your way up, become POTUS, enjoy the ride."

AAA.jp: AN WAT
(What steps, as president, would you have the mole take to bring America to her knees?)
Cromstar: "Good question. its hard to say. Can't retreat battles anymore, so that's a disappointment. You could try and screw up MPPs, but a smart Congress could get around that."
AAA.jp: A NIGGA'D WANNA HAVE PEEPS 2 COVER DEM TRACKS
(You'd want to have several in place in order to deceive the American people into making poor decisions and sticking with them)
Cromstar: "Absolutely."
AAA.jp: YO U NO DA GAME. TELLEM 2 KILL BURRITO. DEY DO IT, BUT DEY BE CRYAN. PULL DAT GAME LIKE A NIGGA DID IN WW3, OPEN FLOODGATES AND STROM DEM SHO'S. YO PEEPS B LIKE GIRLS SO WE PLAY WIT DAT.
(You could play off of America's pride, which is always followed by liberal guilt after a bad decision is made. So: Attack a country. And then, sign a treaty in which America loses key regions to the enemy, bridge Servia and Poland, Split America in 2 . . . One could easily take control of America's mob-mentality ways . . . Set groups against each other with ease . . . That could be done as easily as spreading rumors in high school. Americans are children with access to dangerous weaponry. It is our duty to deprive America of such power)
Cromstar: "Yeah. America with big guns tends to invade little nations."

AAA.jp: DAM U MAD FAT
(How much bacon do you think I could get out of your flesh, Cromstar?)
Cromstar: "Dunno. It would probably be mostly fat, not too much meat. Personally, I'd recommend Mazzy_Cat for some lean meat."
AAA.jp: I CUD MAEK UH DIME OFF DAT BUT I WON'T EET IT
(My people do not enjoy eating cat. However, I could sell the meat to the Chinese for a fine profit.)

I hope that we have learned something from this interview in regards to destorying America. Best of luck, friends~