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How's it Going Everybody?

I'm going to take a different approach with this article, and get straight to the point.

I am deeply annoyed by the average "try hard" congressional candidates we get every election. The overly-serious "honorable congressman" talk just grinds my gears. To clarify, when I say "honorable congressman" talk, I mean the overly serious roleplay that we see when players shape their facade to match that of the founding fathers.

Symptoms of Try Hard Congressmen Syndrome(THCS) Include:

Attempting to speak far more intelligent

Tagging the words honor, patriotism, liberty, ect on every sentence

Promising to "make a difference" in congress

Stubbornness and Ignorance

Acting Superior to Other Candidates



If you experience one or more of these symptoms, please notify your physician immediately
HELP PROMOTE TRY HARD AWARENESS

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Example: If I am elected into congress through the wonderful democratic process, I will cooperate with my patriotic brothers in order to promote honor and liberty for the great people of this country. I promise to put an end to the insidious corruption that plagues this otherwise glorious country. A vote for me is a vote for a new America!

Through the many years I have spent deciphering the mysterious language of the "try hard," I have successfully translated that paragraph into modern English.


Translation: Sup guys. I'm bored as hell, and out of dubstep to listen to, so I decided to run for congress. If you vote me in, things won't really change, but it'd still be pretty cool I guess. I've got plenty of hot pockets and Mountain Dew: Code Red, so I'll always be online. I'd write more, but I really want to go play some Skyrim. Vote for me if you feel like it I guess...Peace out.
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This is what we pretend to be like

This is what we really are

Let's live up to it



Now don't get me wrong. I won't stand here and pretend I haven't done this. Up until now, that was how I wrote in every one of my articles, you can check for yourselves. However, there's a point where it just got old. I would personally rather vote some deadbeat into congress who treats this as it really is, a cheap online game; than some overly-ambitious Thomas Jefferson figure who makes this game sound far more serious than it should be.

Thank you
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Girl of the day

Terrible Joke of the day

Knock knock.

-Who's there?

To.

-To who?

To whom.