Today the Pindonga Nacionalista, Tomorrow Congress!

Day 1,121, 00:17 • Published in Bolivia Bolivia • by Arjay Phoenician


The polls have just opened for today’s party elections, and I am excited. I have been for a few days now, ever since I decided to challenge conventional wisdom and started campaigning for the presidency of the big and bad Pindonga Nacionalista (which translates into English as Prostitute Nationalist). In my campaign, I’ve made some new friends and gotten reacquainted with old ones. Whether seba-geek or I wake up tomorrow as president, I’m going to be proud of what I’ve done here, because I’m fighting the good, honorable fight, and I’m finding others willing to fight with me.

That’s the bottom line for this campaign, to gather those who wish to see Bolivia liberated by the pro-Argentine PTO group, the Pindonga, and to claim not just victory over them, but set the country up for a lasting peace with its neighbors, including those wishing us harm

It’s not going to be an easy task. Here I am, an egomaniac writing English-language articles in a Spanish-speaking country, standing toe to toe with as unsavory and vicious a group of trolls as the world of recent memory has seen. I have little gold, but I use what I can. The real challenge is to get the people of Bolivia, the ones who have long suffered from invasions and PTO’s and now are dealing with massive Pindonga raids of the treasury, to believe that now is the time for revolution; while I could never blame them for feeling burned out from fighting against various aggressors for a year and a half, no one man can turn a country around. If this revival of the community is going to happen, there’s so much a clown like Arjay can do. Ensuring Bolivians run Bolivia is going to ultimately depend on how bad Bolivians want it. Arjay’s role in all this is to use what is at his disposal to galvanize that support, catalyze that spirit, and give the Pindonga all the hell they can stand before they leave, one way or the other.

I’m confident I can win today, but this movement is not about one election in one party. Starting tomorrow, we’re going to put a plan together for reclaiming Congress, and after that, start grooming a presidential candidate. In the meantime, four out of our five regions are still held by Argentina, we may see about getting a couple of them back. For the long haul, it wouldn’t be a bad thing to start talks with Peru, a country in the same predicaments we’re in, to potentially join forces, create a larger and smarter community, and finally fend off aggressors once and for all. This campaign is just the start, win or lose.

In other words, Pindonga, get used to a lot of English articles in the Bolivian media that tell literally the whole world of your corruption, graft, theft, and lies. I’ve outlasted a lot of troll communities, you’re just another bunch of thieving and conniving punks to me, lacking honor and shame.

Eventually, the Pindonga will be ousted, it’s only a matter of time, and that’s dependent on how vital and spirited the Bolivian community becomes, and how fast it gets there.

Wherever you are in this world, I hope you’re watching what’s going on here. If you’re a Bolivian citizen, I’m asking you to grab a couple of moving tickets, come in, give me your vote, and then go back to whatever it was you were doing.

It doesn’t sound like what I’m doing means a whole lot, it’s a party with fifteen official members, and if you take it at face value, you have to ask yourself why so much is being written on this. In Bolivia, the Pindonga are a classic PTO group, they stay out of parties in order to hide their numbers. Truly, 260 people voted for seba-geek for President of Bolivia last week, which ought to tell you the sort of numbers they can gather if needed. More than that, the Pindonga Nacionalista is THEIR party; THEY paid to create it when they lost all four party elections several months ago, THEY talk trash about it, THEY run candidates through it. This is their baby, and for us to take it from them, it might not seem like a grand victory to someone on the outside looking in, but it would be a kick in the testicles to the Pindonga. It would show them the Bolivian community is not at all dead, that we can still challenge them for power, and that they should never take us lightly.

I’m asking the Bolivian community, those in country and those dispersed, to consider this election more important than the usual party elections, to pull themselves away from what they’d normally be doing for a few minutes today, and to vote for Arjay Phoenician. This isn’t about me; this is about you, Bolivia. This is a litmus test to see if you’re still willing to fight for your honor and your country. Again, I can understand if you’ve given up hope, but if there is hope to be had, let it shine today, bright and proud. The Pindonga are not invincible, but if they go unchallenged, they’ll continue to rule this country like corrupt tyrants. Today, I ask you to lend me your vote.

Tomorrow, onto Congress!