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Welcome back to "late night with gessho"

I'm glad you could make it. We'll be taking questions from the (yahoo) mailbag tonight and providing answers to all of your burning questions. For our first deranged questioneer, we have Carmen from Egypt:

How do i let a boy know that im not interested in been more than friends without saying it face to face?

Well, Carmen, that's a tough question. I'm glad you brought it to the right place. I'm pretty sure he's only in it for the poon.


especially if you have a couple of these.

Just let him have it, Carmen. Trust me, whatever you have is nothing unique.

Next is Cassie from Chicago:

Does my fake tan look fake?



..... Yes it does.

Finally, we'll answer Lady EB from Roraima, Brazil:

Why did you go to the E.R. last?

The last time I went to the ER was back in the dark days of '04. This was before my stint in rehab but after i had fallen back into the grips of the white pony. I was in the hole to the tune of $60,000 to a gang of Vietnamese transvestite gangsters. It was a rough situation to be in. Anyway, after my Srivananda yoga class one fateful September day, I was feeling very gay and delighted about life in general. Coming out of the gym, I failed to pay attention and was quickly captured by the trannies. They shoved me into the back of a windowless van that said "free candy" on the side of it, and we drove in circles for hours as they shouted hurtful things and waved their dongles at me. It was terrifying; I was terrified. Anyway, long story short, they forced me to take entertain them by inserting a Coke bottle into my bunghole, whereupon they decided to call it even. After that, I went to the ER, and they took the following X-ray:


thanks for the chance to relive old memories!

...And now for something completely different:







And that's our show for tonight. You people are great! Tune in next week when we discuss the evils of daytime cable, and what it does to your immortal soul.


it ain't pretty.