The Story of Two Cows
Uzair J
Here's the
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
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Comments
Nice, Voted! 😛
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
LOL, very funny!
Voted and subbed!
The last one indeed! Mostly true all Of them!
BIG V!
LOL, this was a good one.
hahahahaha most funny are American and British 😃
nice article... 🙂
voted, & subbed..!! 😉
LOVED it xD
Voted!!
voted
lol very funny
Awesome! xD
voted
Yaar pehlay smg utha kar wife dhoond rahay thay aur ab yeh kaam shuru kardia 😛 aray is banday ki madad k liay tamam log dil khol kar imdad karain!! 😃
hahahaha. wife ka pata nahi uzair bhai ko milay gi ya nahi
Jabhi ab cow ka business karnay ka sooch rahay hain 😛
InshaAllah yaar aglay 5, 6 saaloan tak koi mil hi jayay gi 😛
hahaha yaar.. aglay article say phir talash jaari rahay gi 😛
A pretty good analogy-sarcastic article
American, Japanese, and Iraqi sure are the best.
The analogy is true for most of them.. but it is not meant to be offensive towards any particular country.. it's just meant as a joke.. just focus on the humour 😛
Hope the humour works to people who live in hostile country like Iraq, too.
And happy Ramdhan fasting for this last ten days 😃
well honestly I love Iraq and respect all the countries and there cultures etc so I hope that none of them take it offensive..
and thanks bro (terima kasih).. Happy Ramadan to you too.. These are really the blessed last 10 days because of Lailat-ul-Qadr.. Hope all of our fasting is accepted..
Iraqi is the bomb , cool
yah that was the best one !!
yep