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Remember when you was a little kid? When the times were innocent, and the good old Santa Claus was delivering toys to the small ones, and “toys” to the more grown up ones too? Not any more! Something has changed, it has become clear that the good old Santa is: FINNISH!”


In a long time ago, in a cabin far far from here……



It was Christmas eve, snowflakes were falling outside the window, everyone had ended their battles through the shoppingcentres, and bought their gifts just in the last minute before closing. In the little cabin in the forest, everybody was enjoying the reunion of the family. They had just eaten the Christmas dinner, lutefisk, pinnekjøtt and ribbe. hans erik, the house-holder, was thinking out the next to do in the program, Grandpa Ruyter was telling stories from his experiences from the seven seas, Cousin Xibbard was counting the new family members and find they were all here and well qualified. The nephwes Jaroslav, Land Surveyor, Quintus and Demom War were exited, and were all the time looking up the chimney. Great Grandpa Taulen was relaxing in his horn on the wall, satisfied to once again see the family around him. Little Zinitus was sitting in the corner, very happy to see the family still preferring Norwegian food traditions contrary French cuisine.




Uncle Joshua had just got his two (4) glasses of Canadian Whiskey, and were now preparing the props for the big role he had to play later that evening, the big white beard, the red woollen cap and wooden clogs. Suddenly someone knocked on the window. It was Santa Claus?!! Uncle Josh was a little surprised, did he have rivals? He went out to find out more. Outside he find out the forest was filled with a lot of raging Santa Clauses. And their were all wearing axes…..!





“Where is uncle Josh?” little Zinitus asked after a while, "and will not Santa arrive soon?"


“Shhhh! I hear someone`s up on the roof, Santa Claus is coming to town”, Xibbard said.


Suddenly something big and red came down the chimney! It fell heavily and laid down without a move. It had a big bloody axe in his hand!


“Saatana Perkele!” (#@%¤§!!) The Thing said after a while…


“Minä vuodatan, olen leikannut itseni kirveessä» ("I`ve cut myself on the Axe"), it said and raised up.


It was not a thing, either a Santa Claus, either a “Redrum”. It was a Finn, and he was bleeding!


“Get some first aid kit” Grandpa Ruyter shouted, “He needs help!”. Land Surveyor found it and everyone helped and soon all was in control.


“Look out the windows, there are many, many “Santas” outside” Quintus shouted!


“OK, whats happening, why are you Finns invading us?” Ruyter asked


Long time Santa Finn did`nt answer. He seemed ashamed. But at last he answered.


“I`m truly sorry to intrude your country in such a way, but we are in deep deep need”


“Need, in what need? hans erik asked!

“We are in complete need of salmon and snuff, the hole eFinland is cleaned, and now everybody is coming raging across the borders, you see their all have abstinences, they are like walking deads…..” Finn explained.


“Hmmm” Grandpa Ruyter said, “what to do with that?”


Suddenly someone knocked on the door, it opened and there was another Santa, a smaller one with a red woollen cap, beard and wooden clogs, looking more real one! Everyone was preparing for fight!



“Ho,ho,ho” the little figure said, and entered into the cabin.


“Wait, wait!" Finn said, “He is not Finnish, he is Norwegian!”


“Of course I`m Norwegian” the little Santa said, “what else should I`ve been?” he laughed!


“But I`m a busy man tonight, is there any kind ones here who want some toys to play with?”


“JAAAA!” everyone shouted, except Finn.


And thereafter the little Santa delivered gifts to all. Then he turned around and saw Finn standing in the corner “But, don’t you wish something for Christmas?” Santa asked Finn.


“Do you have some salmon and snuff?” Finn whispered.


“Ahhh, you are from Finland!” Santa shouted, ”Here are a lot of salmon and snuff for you all! I`ve heard about your needs. My subcontractor in Rovaniemi, sent me some hints about that…”



“Oh, is he your subcontractor?” Finn said surprised, “He is my employer, its therefore we all were forced to wear this Disney-like Santa-suits”


“Ahh, I do understand” the real Santa said, “that’s pity, I`don’t like it, it`s much too commercial for me…” Then he suddently stopped talking and picked up an additional package and gave to Finn.


“What`s this?” asked Finn. Santa took him aside and whispere😛 “It`s a “bride”, see it as a “compensation”! I don`t like what`s my subcontractors has done to you all, and I`ve heard a lot about your... needs!” he said and glimpsed.

Finn started to cry of joy!


Finnish workers heading home for Christmas!


Later on that evening Santa left for further missions. After promising not to intrude in such way again, Finn and all his comrades headed home for Finland, with their gifts in their stomachs and mind.


Xibbard suddenly asked; “Have you seen uncle Josh?” “Now I`haven’t” Land surveyor replied, “It`s the same procedyre as every year, he always out, when Santa is coming! We have to search for him!”


They searched around outside the cabin, and also in the shed, where they hide the hay, and the animals of the farm. “Here he, is!”, Xibbard shouted, “I smell the Whiskey!”. And yes, there he was, sleeping in the crib.
“Uncle, uncle, you wouldn’t believe what`s happend, when you were gone!” Demon War, Jaroslav and Land Surveyor explained and shouted eagerly to uncle Josh, who was just awakening.


He shaked his head. laughed and said with a little glimpse: “Ho,ho, ho, why do I always miss the fun….?”



"I smell the whiskey!"


(Eventual similarities with real living people are just random and not intentional 🙂 )