The Reborn Weekly Prophet - Greek Dude Helps Charity - Successful Kitten Shelter

Day 2,169, 13:38 • Published in Belgium United Kingdom • by NLSP
Editorial

Dear reader,
as you may have noticed by now, the eBelgian media lacks sometimes a little bit of objectivity. Therefore, the owner of 'The Weekly Prophet', our own NLSP, has decided to revive The Weekly Prophet by employing me, myself and I (Keyser Söze) as new editor. Furthermore, a generous donation of an unidentified eBelgian Politician whose greatness is unthinkable big, made it possible to pay for an underpaid journalist: Rudyard Kipling.
Together will Rudyard Kipling (rk) and I (ks) bring you all the information you need to know to live happily ever after. We are pleased to say, that we outsource all our fact-checking to 'NLSP Knowing it all Ltd.', one of the daughter companies from 'NLSP Consultancy Services'.

Keyser Söze, Editor for The Weekly Prophet.
Honouring our glorious founder, NLSP, since 2010.


Poor Greek Dude Makes You Rich
While the economic crisis keeps hurting the whole world and everyone hears about the suffering in Greece, where money is more scarce than water in the Sahara, a very interesting news story has reached our ears.
Some Greek dude, who only goes by the name Plato, doesn't earn enough money to take care of his family. Even this cheap wine (50 cents a litre) that comes in a 'Tetra Pak' and has known to have poisoned whole populations of rats after being thrown in the sewers, was too expensive for this Plato-dude. After drinking a little bit too much of cleaning products and sniffing a little bit too much of white spirit, the poor guy unfortunately lost his mind.
During one of his recent episodes he let some pharmaceutical company do some drug tests on him and donated to profits then to the charity organization: 'eRepublik Labs'. This small fortune will be divided with two different competitions and rumours goes that winning the competition will give you great fame. The Weekly Prophet advises you to participate with one or both of these competitions in the Honour of our Glorious Founder, NLSP. (rk)


Local Kitten Shelter Becomes Finally Successful
Since a few years, eBelgium started to develop an unhealthy love for one of the most dangerous stray animals in the worl😛 The cute, innocent kitten. Multiple families bought immediately 4 or 5 of these little monsters. Pleas by eBelgium's smartest politicians to extinguish them, smash them, destroy them where unfortunately ignored.
Luckily, after some time, this disgusting fashion trend started to fade away and the kittens started to burn. But people do not always realize the dangers that are involved with getting rid of a pestilence. The recently started Kitten Shelter, helps families to solve their kitten-problem. The Family can stay for 1 week at the Kitten Shelter, where they are sheltered against kittens. During this time, The Deadly Kitten Assassination Squad will sweep your home and garden. To everyone's surprise, they remove very professionally any kittens that are located on your property.
The Weekly Prophet advises you, in Honour of our Glorious Founder, NLSP, to join the effort of giving our kids a kitten-free environment. (rk)