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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

The Noob Tubes Birthday

Day 869, 18:02 • Published in North Korea

• by Dubster

This week the Noob Tube and its author Dubster celebrate their 1st eBirthday.

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In that time the Noob Tube has accumulated a small but loyal subscription base.

This week we republish an article from 11 months ago satirising politics in North Korea during its first of many election PTO’s. It’s unfortunate to see that nothing has changed almost a year on.

I hope you enjoy this article and if you think North Korea and humour are relevant to your interests please vote and subscribe.

The Dubster Manifesto
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Hi I’m Dubster and I’m running for president and unlike some candidates I have a clear manifesto, although I don’t have a party, a minor oversight, certainly not one that stops other candidates.

Who am I?

I’m the kind of nice forum guy who doesn’t really say anything too radical and gets along with most people, and among the half wits and flaming retardicons that make up our forum demographic I almost come across quite normal. But just like Pol Pot must have seemed like a nice guy to his friends, under my wafer thin façade of polite nice guy, lurks a manifestation of morally ambiguous evil secretly craving power for powers sake.

Why am I running?

Well frankly I just want the gold and the ability to abuse my position for my own personal gain. The little badge achievement on my profile will also be a bonus I can show off to all my eFriends while boasting about the size of my ePeen.

Why should you vote for me?

You shouldn’t, but I intend to manipulate the vote by offering bribes, pretend government positions and anything else that I can do to brainwash the electorate into voting for a morally corrupt individual such as myself.

What will I do if I win?

I’d like to offer some rhetoric about change and moving North Korea into the future here for the better, I’d be lying of course. (Also that would take a while to cut and paste) Mostly I will laugh all the way to the bank then see what other assets I can offer up to the highest bidder, if I’m successful North Korea will be left a hollow shell, a carcass in honour of your stupidity that will stain the map of eRepublik for years to come.