The French are coming!

Day 1,867, 11:56 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Horice G Fossil
What follows is an emergency broadcast on behalf of The Real Spamicans...

"LOL, the French..really??...oh...in that case...Do not be alarmed but The Real Spamicans
have learned of an imminent threat of ovine invasion by those dastardly French fellows"

Yes I'm afraid it's all true! As this video the Spamicans have obtained shows, those
foreign French chappies are planning to attack the eUK utilising exploding sheep...

"Comme vous pouvez le voir sur cette vidéo, nous avons l'intention d'attaquer eUK avec
des moutons explosion. Nous pète dans leur direction généraleles, les Anglais stupide!"

Yes, those despicable Frenchies have genetically engineered exploding flying sheep...

"As soon as they get a wiff of mint jelly these beastly ovine missles home in and explode!"

We managed to track Big Ant and his MoD, jamesw, to thier secret lair in the Rose
and Crown beer garden, just north of Chipping Ongar, to tell them of our findings...

"Oh my God the French are coming? The French are coming! It wasn't anything to do with
me this time, I was in the pub with jamesw drinking Creme de menthe all day, now feck off!"

Next we appraoched the leaders of the eUK Military Units to ask if they could deal
with the French ovine menace, unfortunately they were too busy to meet with us...

Well we'd better do it again, there's obviously been a bit of a muddle. Oh dear. Best of three?
Right, well I'll decide what means we use to decide who's going to be... to... to... to er ....
to be the thing ... to be the official eUK Military Unit. Now number of members doesn't enter
into this, No? Good. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Right. Dip, dip, dip, my little ship sails on
the ocean, you are no wait, wait a minute, no I, I must have missed out a dip. I'll start again.
Dip, dip, dip, dip, my little ship, sails on the ocean, you are ... No, this is not working out.
It's not working out. What shall we do? How about one potato, two potato? No, I think,
I think fisties would be best, but obviously I should be able to use both hands as I'm the oldest OK,
so hands behind backs. After three, OK, one, two, three. Now what's this... stone, stone, stone,
and scissors. Now. Scissors cut everything, don't they?

As the last resort we attempted to speak to a sensible political party in the eUK,
we hoped we could ask them to help us deal with the dastardly French ovine threat...

"However, after much searching we were unable to find a sensible party in the eUK"

So it fell to The Real Spamicans to defend the eUK from the rotten Frenchies...

"Real Spamican members are now placed in strategic sites all across the eUK, ready with
thier anti-ovine headgear to deal with all the exploding sheep the French can fling at us!"

'What about the fecking Irish and their fecking llamas?' I can hear you shouting...

"What about the fecking Irish and their fecking llamas, what are you going to do about them?"

You have no need to fear, The Real Spamicans have the Irish llama threat in hand...

"Yes, as we speak TRS PP, Horice, is donning his badger mittens ready to deal with the Irish!"


Horice