Join the new world

Hello and welcome to The Fake Spamicans the party I am your leader Horice P Fossil evil twin brother of Horice G Fossil


Today shall be a spammy day in party and all of you have just become spamicans so spamming the feed all day long with utter rubbish is a must today (you can include some funny stuff too to balance it out)

To celebrate our day as spamicans I present to you an interview with CHAZ who will be running for CP on the 5th, as we all know he’s a serious candidate this time so I tried to keep my line of questioning serious

HI Chaz, so why are you running for CP?

Serious translation - HI Chaz, so why are you running for CP?

CHAZ: Honestly? Because I want to. I had great fun when I first run and I’m looking to go that little bit further with more than 1 and ½ manifestos this time. If other people enjoyed that and enjoy what’s coming up then I would genuinely feel I’ve accomplished something in this game and stuck to my core principle that this is a game and should be enjoyed as such.

I see opportunities for change and wish to represent them. I am not the type of player to keep asking for something and expect it to be delivered; I’ve decided to get amongst it and try and get my voice heard. Obviously my manifestos will be very tongue in cheek but in most policies will be an actual message. If you don’t think I’ll try my best to get the South East of England renamed, think again!
I also wanted to take one last opportunity to say I’m not a joke candidate. I’m not standing here waving my arms and shouting ‘blobby belly’. I can do the political work and a lot of people enjoy the political module so I’d treat that with as much respect as anything else. I do however think there’s a way to go about it that would be more enjoyable and hand more real power to positions outside of the government.

Shows: Basic pleasantness, serious candidate

So situation both your arms are blown off in an incident let us say I removed them in a drunken rage after healing you want to eat some ice cream and must choose 1 animal to assist you in eating the ice cream (note: no cutlery can be used). Which animal do you choose?

Serious translation: There’s an emergency during your term in office and you must quickly think on your feet to resolve the situation what do you do?

CHAZ: As the current Ambassador to eAntarctica I’ve build up quite a rapport with the penguins and have witnessed first hand their excellent capabilities when it comes to matters of an iced nature. So yeah, they’d be my go to guys.

This question has got me concerned that not enough of the nation’s resources are being devoted to the ice-cream scoop/eagle breeding programme

Shows: Quick thinking, Ingenuity

Ok you’re at a party, at the CP of Poland’s house you’re having a good time when all of a sudden the Polish CP goes and kills a female entertainer. What do you do?

Serious translation: The CP of our biggest ally Poland does something immoral but that doesn’t affect the UK directly. What do you do?

CHAZ: ‘Female Entertainers’, as you so affably describe them, are murdered all the time for a variety of reasons. It’s a risk that comes with the job; so this circumstance would have no bearing on my opinion of Mr. Poland.

As part of the same bro’hood I’d be more than willing to help roll the body in a mat, subsequently dump it on jamesw’s front lawn and call the fuzz saying we’d just seen him arguing with a woman and it looked like it might turn violent.

Shows: Willing to sacrifice for the wellbeing of the eUK.

You’re having a bad day you’re probably drunk too some prolific troll (let’s say Waynekerr (+1 vote)) says in their best English ‘U is a well bad CP’. What do you reply (if you reply at all).
Serious translation: During tough times will you be able to deal with difficult people?

CHAZ: People like that I see more as feckwits rather than trolls and pretty much dismiss them. If they thought I was doing a bad job as CP that would only further highlight their stupidity as no rational person would say such a silly thing.

However; whilst I won’t personally be involved with these people, that is not to say I’ll let them get away unscathed. Counter measures have been made and are presented in my manifesto.

Shows: Can deal with tough people even at the worst of times.

You see an old man tying a zebra to train tracks you wander over and he tells you this zebra must die in order to save the world, do you save the zebra?

Serious translation: How would you deal with the elderly who have homicidal tendencies towards zebras?

CHAZ: If he wrote a detailed report on why the Zebra needed to die and used shiny graphics then I could make an informed decision based on that. Obviously by the time this decision was made the train would have already run over the Zebra and I can announce a retrospective decision based on public reaction and say I had to follow procedure first.

Shows: Policy towards the elderly.

How much of the government’s budget will be spent on indoor kites and will your new minister of indoor kites be paid well for his role in your cabinet?

Serious translation: Will the government’s budget be managed sensibly?

CHAZ: Well I’m not sure how much of a role indoor kites play in the game. However my proposed ‘Minister of Security of The Treasury and Orgs With Money in Them’ has assured me that a lot of treasury money will fly his way. I assume that’s a metaphor for these indoor kites so they obviously deserve a fair amount of funding and I guess the Minister of indoor kites should be heavily rewarded.

Shows: Good economic policy

You’re out with your very good friend (19yo maths student) he sees a girl he likes (19yo, red shoulder length hair, maths student, sparkling blue eyes, sexy red lips that curl just at 1 side, annoyingly difficult to find on Facebook). How do you assist him in his quest?

Serious translation: ermmm this is a valid question and relates to the running of the country somehow.

CHAZ: Wow that’s a toughy. Without having stalking/facebook available it becomes hard to get to know the mark. There are two standard approaches in light of this setback:
A) The long game. I befriend her, pass on all relevant information and plant some seeds of how great you are in her mind that might one day grow into a mighty tree of lust.
😎 The Classic (Divide and Conquer): All attractive female marks have at least one detestable, man hating friend (aka “The cockblocker”). If we can identify/coerce them into a night on the tiles with just those two; then I can use all my manly goodness to take out the problem friend. This will leave the mark slightly jealous that her heffer mate has pulled and wide open for you to pounce, although not literally of course. (Obviously the drinking helps too)

If that fails there’s the fool-proof chat up line that was handed down to me by my father, and his father before, and that is “Get in the back of the f**king van I’ve got a knife!”


Shows: Wingman Chaz

So that was an interview with the great man himself here is his first manifesto http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/danny-dwyer-is-a-w-k-r-2232961/1/20

Join The Fake Spamicans today http://www.erepublik.com/en/party/the-fake-spamicans--3205/1
You can of course join those strange people at The Real Spamicans too http://www.erepublik.com/en/party/the-real-spamicans-2681/1

[2/20]