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The End is Nigh: A Bearded Homeless Production

Day 871, 23:12 • Published in USA Austria

• by Alex Lorre

I, Alex Lorre, do hereby state my intentions on running for Party President of the Ladybug Party. I must warn you now that I do plan to change this party up and give it a new direction, but I hope the other two members will not mind. Because it is for a cause, and an admirable one at that. Allow me to tell you my story, and you shall know my cause.

I had always sensed a sort of beard envy from the members at the SFP but I never realized it would turn into full out discrimination... I was forced to leave my party and search in vain for some place that would accept me for who I was and what was on my face. And then it hit me! I could start a party for all the weird, bearded homeless people like me to come and flex our power as one party under beards! And thus the idea for the Weird Homeless Party was formed. Originally I wanted the “bearded” thrown in the name but I realized I couldn't in good conscience discriminate against other facial preferences as I had been discriminated against myself. So I left out the bearded and thus paved the way for a united front that stretches across all facial boundaries!

So I call all the weird, hairy, and homeless to join me to make this vision come true!

Weird Homeless Party

Not to be confused with the Homeless Party... those guys are mainstream sellouts

"Finally a political party that caters to the interests of homeless people, bearded people, and societies freaks, weirdos, and strange people!" ~ Zhao Ji

Platform:

The weird homeless party supports more egg salad sandwiches in proportion to white castle cheeseburgers in 7-11's nationwide!
Free liquor!
Free army surplus jackets!

necky the neckbeard sez: beards are sweet, shaving is only a societal institution implemented to alienate the awesomeness of the beard!

The weird homeless party also calls for an investigation into the radios in their fingernails!

necky the neckbeard sez: beware of Gillette's conspiracy to get their remotely controlled razor products near your sweet sweet jugular. Save your own life and sport a neckbeard in November and always!

“Beardtacular! Beardular! Beardical!” ~ The Bearded Turtles

Also endorsed by:

Walker Bearded Ranger