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'The House of Commons is the longest running farce in the West End.'
Cyril Smith [Former UK Member of Parliament]



Ahoy there. Welcome to my new (and currently only) series of articles, looking at British Congress and what goes on behind the curtain. As many of you I doubt is aware, I found myself in a pleasant predicament of finally being re-elected for my fourth term (the medals are a lie; admins have been proven at being the game’s most prominent scrooges). However, as part of my rare eureka moments I develop over a decade cycle; so I have decided to write about the current dealings in Parliament that the public may like to know, with a flavoured hint of personal opinion.

I would like to stress however that not all information can be published. Due to the sensitive nature of certain information that comes with the deceptive power we congressmen assume we have, I will only be able to publish those that are currently public. However, I can assure you us dastardly politicians are always looking out for the country’s best interests.

The Commons

Now, let’s get down to business. Our recent congressional elections have turned out quite a result for our two most prominent parties, TUP and UKRP. My beautifully created pie chart may be able to picture it a little better tho:


January 2011 Congressional results

As you can probably see, our political system has come to a head as of late, with the two largest parties contributing a massive 80% of all elected congressman. The eUK’s Fall of Political Diversification has been developing over the past 6 months and more, with many of the diehard neutral or left wing Champagne Proletariats having either a) Rediscovered the mundane reality we call REAL LIFE or have removed themselves from eUK society and are currently hiding in eIrish caves and living the ultimate role playing fantasy. It is however unhealthy for British politics to be dominated in such a disjointed manner, as it makes us as a country easier for any foreign PTO attempts or completely irresponsible individuals to cause a Britney Spears on our political system. Again, the following months will be interesting, and I hope a new and fresh approach to eUK politics can rise through the ashes to offer a real alternative to these two giants.


You don’t count yet Jamesw

Now, let’s talk about what’s happening in the Commons. Although I doubt many will be aware (or even care) at this current stage, the previous congress decided to replace the long established Ministry of Legislative Affairs (a government body that oversees the eUK legislative system) with the Speaker of the House of Commons. Although the Speaker still holds onto the MoLA’s main responsibility of acting as referee during political bawwfests between our beloved politicians (I’m looking at you Goku), it however has lost its position on the cabinet. As someone who wasn’t around during the new initiatives vote, I see it as both the incumbent CP sacrificing impartial oversight of our Congress in an attempt on reducing cabinet size, and the previous Congress’ attempt at becoming ultimate roleplaying superstars and trying to replicate the RL system as much as possible. However I see it, is a severe disappointment. However, two experienced legislators and politicians have been appointed as Speaker (Apotygma) and Deputy Speaker (Darkmantle), each bringing a unique offering to an untested system. Typically, they both represent the parties with the largest control of congress, and only time will tell on whether impartiality and duty will overrule their political allegiances.


Just another typical day in congress

Competition

As a surprising turn of events, there have currently been no House of Lord proposals for the previous 45 days. And this gives me an idea. Due to the fact partisan arguments are attracted to the HoL, I’m sure that the fun will return at some point. Other than that, the old dog Jan Baykara has proposed an adjustment to the Monarchy Act that clarifies the heir apparent procedure and giving King Woldy a funny hat to wear on special occasions, absolutely naff all is going on. Sorry folks.


Woldy looks pretty fly, no?

Conclusion

As it is, not much is happening in congress at the moment. A few discussions here and there and a legislative clear up to include the speaker in Commons Acts to avoid future bawwfests. Hopefully by my next update, we should see things picking up and some juicy Parliament going-ons to talk about.

Also, due to the popularity of Kevy Shawodywody’s random generator, I have decidedly to inexplicably rip off our presidential candidate and offer a prize to those who comment + sub. Don’t worry, it’ll be something generous, and I promise I will retreat to the fetus position when I realise how much this will cost me. So, feel free to go crazy.

That’s all folks