The Crime of Bribery

Day 713, 16:39 • Published in Japan Japan • by Reiji Mitsurugi

We here at the Taishou (that is, me, Reiji Mitsurugi) have always been opposed to the demonic presence of Theocracy in in Korea, in Asia and indeed in this world. I have worked tirelessly to see them ousted from their ill-gotten stronghold in Seoul, and I will not stop until I succeed, or my body lies dead on the ground.



So imagine my surprise when I returned one weekend to the Mitsurugi Estate in Matsuyama (pictured above) to discover a huge stack of red envelopes (pictured below). And what was in those red envelopes, you may ask? Why nothing but Theocrat bribes, in every denomination of every currency you can possibly imagine!



Now, why would Theocracy seek to bribe Reiji Mitsurugi? This is an excellent question. It's no secret that I am the Speaker of the Imperial Diet of Japan, and therefore a man of great influence. Perhaps they believe that they can sway me to their way of thinking, perhaps use my influence to make Japan a vassal of Theocracy? Perhaps it is simpler than that, that I am doing too much damage with my relentless anti-Theocracy campaign, that they only wish to silence me.

Whatever their reasons, they can hear me now: Theocracy, I reject your bribery! This has only confirmed your corruption. Will I be returning the bribes? Heavens, no! Any money liberated from Theocracy is money that can't be spent to fund their evil war machine. No, I will take this money and use it to further the cause of righteousness.

This is Reiji Mitsurugi, looking forward to many a righteous cup of coffee in many a foreign nation.

Death to Theocracy!