The Calm Before the Storm

Day 83, 00:00 Published in Pakistan Pakistan by William Walker

Salaam aleikum! Glory to Pakistan!
Good day to you, Pakistan! Glorious Pakistan! Praise the God-emperor in all his glory! We should all also congratulate C. Falcon for winning the party Presidency of the "Stardust Crusaders", the strongest and only true party of Pakistan! Hail! <o

We will now continue with news from around the feeble world that has not yet known true peace.
In South America, the country of Venezuela has been begging for workers. Their capitalistic big-shots obviously are no match against the lazy Venezuelans. Government officials are groveling at foreign countries for more immigrants. Clearly they haven't realized their 1VEB per day is clearly inferior to our standardized and highly efficient wage system. Hail Pakistan!

Europe, the Swedes (pig-disgusting) are growing increasingly hostile towards our glorious country of Pakistan and other countries of Europe. They seem to enjoy drawing negative attention upon themselves with poor grammar and disgusting sammiches. We are clearly not moved the least emotionally by their pitiful attempts to get our attention, their time for eternal peace will be soon enough. We hope for their own good they realize this quick enough. Let's hope the ueber-socialist pigs decide to raise the taxes so high that they can't even afford their own food. Furthermore, discussions about a Pro-Sweden alliance were quickly stiffled and any attempts were successfully hijacked. Good job Pakis! Hail Pakistan!

Rumour has it that Turkey, Iran and Indonesia, wish an alliance together with our glorious nation of Pakistan. While it may have it's advantages to bring the entire world peace, maybe it would be a wise idea to form an allegiance with countries of the same faith. The faith that the world will be under total and eternal peace. Discussions are still underway and feedback from the people would help in the observation of how such an alliance would profit the glorious nation of Pakistan. With these last words I bid you all a good day! Hail Pakistan!

We shall carry our word,
We will correct and unify,
Hail the Emperor! Hail Pakistan!

tl;dr: Venezuela fails, Sweden fails; Turkey, Iran and Indonesia want alliance; God Emperor > All