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The Ballad of Max McFarland

Day 1,977, 20:46 Published in USA USA by Silas Soule

This paper carries signed articles from a variety of writers who are members, friends, acquaintances or perhaps even friendly critics of America's favorite wacky band of commies, anarcho-syndicalists and whatnot, the ever-loving far-left Socialist Freedom Party.

Whew. Is it safe to come out now?...

OK. Hi there. Yeah, this is SNeN, the Socialist News and Entertainment Network!

This time around I have a little Party news for ya, plus an Ode to eRep legend Max McFarland.

So... WTF's going on with the SFP?

Glory to the heroic soldiers of the SFP Bear Cavalry!

A new generation of leaders continues to emerge in the SFP!

For the 3rd month in a row, the SFP party prez is not one of us old farts whose been hanging around the SFP since time immemorial!

This month's SFP party prez is Che X, a close comrade of last month's prez, Lawlz911. The leading group of cadres is made up entirely of newer members: recent PP's Dylan Thomas 10 and Lawlz911, as well as recent PP candidate LordOther and that awesome Greek commie, The Big Punk!

Both Che and 911 are fairly new to the SFP. But the two of them have plenty of experience organizing lefties in a similar social simulation game. Brother Che X is continuing Lawlz911's efforts to revitalize the Bear Cavalry, engage with other leftists internationally, build the party, and work with other 6th parties to bring a fresh voice into what is, let's be frank, a fairly dreary eAmerican political scene.

Within this flurry of fresh activity, another interesting episode in the long, twisted tale of the SFP seems to be unfolding. SFP-watchers no doubt have noticed that the group spun off into an anarcho-syndicalist trajectory over the past year or so, even officially changing its 'orientation' to 'anarchist'.

The new leadership cadres seem to be steering the Party towards a more 'traditional' e-Marxist/e-socialist path, perhaps not too different from its Ramonist-Engelist heyday.

Of course, there's still plenty of debate and discussion to be had over what all that really means. So if being really red is your cuppa e-tea, check out the the SFP Forum! This is a good time for e-Leninistas and other professional revolutionaries to help get down and funky with the Junky Peoples Army and stuff!


As an enthusiastic Young Socialist remarked to me just the other day, exhibiting tremendous revolutionary zeal as she headed out to click-work for a miserable pittance: "Although the Great Leader Ramon told us that we have to let the people eat rice with meat soup, wear silk clothes and live in a tiled roof house, we have not yet entirely accomplished his will. We have already reached the status of a strong militia, and of course we have superior politics and ideology, but there are still quite a number of things lacking in e-people's everyday lives. I am trying to implement his will by solving these problems!"

Actually, I have not located this particular Quotation from Great Teacher-Leader Ramon, but of course I would agree that...

All Power to the Socialist Freedom Party!

An old bird told me that I got voted "second best writer of all time" and that I just barely beat out Max McFarland, who came in third, in some bogus popularity contest. That reminded me of the time that somebody posted something to the effect that it was scientific fact that P. Quinn was 2.87% more fabulous than Emerick. And yep. It's all true.

Anyway. Max has always been one of my favorite eRep characters. He gave me my very first job, made an odd bird like me feel welcome in this weird and wacky e-world, and has always provided us with first-rate entertainment.

Whatever your e-opinions, polita-tickles and so on, you can never go too far wrong learning from this guy.

So of course I've written a Ballad about him. Here 'tis...

The Ballad of Max McFarland
by Phoenix Quinn

One time in Srbya Max did tank
Against the e-US
And how adorable was that --
His playful sinfulness?

When sexy suave McFarland did
His Balkan escapade
McSkit thought it rocked,
Not rained upon, our national parade.

Who dat play dat Max McFarland?
How he do dat, boyo?
And tell me man, he rilly is da
Lifetime Gov of e-Ohio?

A beast of gold he bought us loads
of stuff dat we hoes needed
Like hospitals and tanks and food so
Despite us, we succeeded.

When Paki Prez he stood against
Phoenix, Eden and the Ape
That Dio claim, dude it shot out wide
Across the e-landscape.

Who dat play at Мак МцФарланд?
How he do dat, boyo?
And tell me mon, he rilly is der
Lifetime Gov of e-Ohio?

As Party Prez of AAP
He burned it to the ground;
A revolutionary act
'Tis true, that was profound.

But that weren't all he did that day
You old figs might recall
"A kitten for every lap", they said,
Then lolcats took control.

Who dat did dat? Max McFarland?
He some kind of hero?
And tell me is he rilly is the
Lifetime Gov of e-Ohio?

For ATO and IES
He really rallied us
With humor and a call
He made it obvious

That Pizza can be vile, you know,
But Zoli not so much,
And a Commie Army's yours, my droogs,
With Max's Midas touch.

Dat he did, dat Max McFarland!
He did all dat, boyo!
But tell me is he rilly the
Lifetime Gov of e-Ohio?

He friended Phoenix, don'tcha know?
That got him in a pickle
Kid, lose it all and you'll be free
It's philosophi-kicle

"May I never be completed.
"May I never be content.
"May I never be perfected."
Knock it down, let's strike the tent.

Yeah Max McFarland he did all dat
He did all dat, boyo!
And yes he rilly is the
Lifetime Gov of e-Ohio!



Silas Soule
Silas Soule Day 1,977, 20:47

Love that dirty water!

Scourge Prime
Scourge Prime Day 1,977, 20:49


Arjay Phoenician III
Arjay Phoenician III Day 1,977, 20:56

I loved Osmany Ramon. Still do.

Alphabethis Day 1,978, 04:50

hmm , that verse in cyrilic is just awesome ! try to guess the damned rythm

Silas Soule
Silas Soule Day 1,978, 19:58

Which reminds of my friend who went to a very clean-cut Midwestern High School in Norfolk, Nebraska. They were so proud of their traditions... their school-pride chant went like this:

We don't drink!
We don't smoke!
Norfolk! Norfolk! Norfolk!

Gnilraps Day 1,978, 20:13

now if i can only finish my piece honoring you...

fingerguns Day 1,978, 20:24

Paul's was better.

Silas Soule
Silas Soule Day 1,979, 06:24

FG, as I wrote this, there were lights on the Charles the size of stars, and an impatient stillness in the air. Trees as fragile as the legs of listening deer. Any minute the sun would come crashing out of the roofs of Cambridge like a clenched fist, driving out determined workers and one-way cars to jam the streets. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to see the herds of traffic on Mass. Ave., turning night into day. Who are you again?

fingerguns Day 1,979, 16:10


Mystela Day 1,979, 12:23

You never change, luckily for all of us. o/

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