Ten Titilating Tidbits That Tempted The Talented Tina Turner

Day 1,114, 18:36 • Published in Bolivia Bolivia • by Arjay Phoenician

Big wheel keep on turnin', Proud Mary keep on burnin', and we're rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river.

WHAT THE HELL IS A PINDONGA? My analysis of the recent Bolivian president elections was censored by the admins, and I was penalized one Forfeit Point, because of my overuse of the definition of the word “pindonga”, which translates into English as “whore”. I appealed the decision, telling the admins that if they didn’t want to be called whores, the Pindonga Nacionalista shouldn’t call themselves whores. I also asked the admins to repeal the name of their party, which in English means Whore Nationalist. Still waiting to hear back. On the flipside of this coin, the PTO group that is currently running Bolivia and stealing whatever they can claims that “pindonga” is a term of endearment, used in a certain context, sort of like when African-Americans use a certain N word to address one another, it’s a word meaning brotherhood, but if a white boy addresses the same person with the same word, it’s a racial insult. If you buy this argument, then you have to approve of the word “pindonga” being stricken from the party name, in the same way no one wants to see someone create the N----r Party.

BUYING UP THE BOB: Buying up Bolivian currency might be one of the best investments ever. The Pindonga have run the BOB into the ground, and as of yesterday, it had a worth of 160 BOB per gold. I’ve never seen a weaker currency in the year-and-a-half that I’ve been here. For the speculator out there, seeking to invest in currencies, unless the Pindonga issues even more money (they’ve proposed three issuings in the last couple of weeks, turning 1,233 gold into 258,600 BOB; that’s the singular reason why the BOB is so worthless), this is a can’t-miss opportunity; there’s nowhere for the currency to go but up.


Well, not a million BOB’s stolen, just a quarter million.

COMMUNITY LEADERS NEED TO STEP UP: Even if the Argentine thieves are in charge, that’s no reason for those who consider themselves leaders in Bolivia to not step up and be counted. They should be in the newspapers, showing themselves, making arguments, telling readers in Bolivia and around the world what’s going on, and what they’re going to do about it. Last month, I was chiding New Zealand president Calbe for doing the same thing, for seemingly coming around only when he wanted people to vote for him, then never be seen again. By no means am I seeking to piss off people I’ve long called my friends in this game, but whether you’ve long been members of this community, like Ernesto_Guevara and jesusfbo, or part of the new generation, like talomedina and Arturo Espinoza, you have to get in the newspapers and duke it out with the Pindonga for all of Bolivia and the world to see. Getting deals done in IRC and discussing issues at the Forum are important, but they can’t take the place of public discord in the papers.

TAKING BACK BOLIVIA, STARTING WITH THE MEDIA: That leads right into the next snippet, where I talk about making a community statement by taking over the newspaper media. It is currently overrun with pro-Argentina trolls. While it’s going to take time to get back our regions and our government, taking over the newspapers is something we can do right now, all of us who care. It doesn’t take much to write an article a few times a week, telling the world you’re here and proud to be Bolivian, that the Pindonga sucks eggs, that you have an idea that can change the world for the better, whatever comes to your mind. In my experience, it’s the country’s home page, and especially the headlines in the Top Five articles, that gives citizens a sense of what’s going on in a country; instead of showing defeat at the hands of thieves, instead of allowing the trolls laugh at us, I say we take our newspapers back and fill them with patriotism, laughter, cheer, and community pride.

GIVING ENGLISH SPEAKERS A BIG BESO: I’ve often said that South America is the least tolerant place in the world when it comes to cultural or language diversity. Over the month of December, I hope to put a serious dent in that monolith by promoting an English-speaking community. Starting in Bolivia, it will be called the Bolivian English-Speaking Organization (BESO) It’s a shame that English speakers are so often chased off the continent, when the truth of the matter is, many locals read and speak English just fine, they just use the language barrier as an excuse for bigotry and seclusion. This is a concerted effort to create a permanent English presence in South America, starting with Bolivia. I hope to see you at the Forum, in the English section, the first home of BESO, until we garner a steady base of support.


BESO hopes to promote more public displays of affection.

BOLIVIAN COMMUNITY PAGE: This is something I did when I was president of South Korea, especially when we experienced a good-sized baby boom. Though we had a new message for newcomers, we didn’t want newbies wondering where the forum was, who was in charge, where support was, that sort of thing. I’m going to put the same thing together here. In a country where the Pindonga have usurped the new message and basically told all new players to join the Pindonga Nacionalista, it’s incumbent on the community to put something like this together, where semi-honest information is given in a way where it can be used. I hope to get support for this, maybe a contribution or two to keep it perpetually advertised.

A TROLL IS A TROLL IS A TROLL: I’ve been around the world, and this newspaper has collected trolls from everywhere, in much the same way an old ship from the English Navy would collect barnacles on its hull as it sailed the Seven Seas. Occasionally, I try to give some a little credit. I still think, as a national unit, Japanese trolls are the most ferocious, the most relentless, the most willing to say and do the meanest freaking things they can come up with, but Argentina’s trolls are no slouches themselves. Props go to Hans Molemann, who made eight comments on my last article, none of them beyond base trolling. In Bolivia, one of the smallest countries in the world, it’s like living under a rock if you’re an Argentine troll; consider this newspaper my way of lifting the rock for the rest of the world to see them scurry about and gnash their teeth.

ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE PEACE A CHANCE: Today is the 30th anniversary of the murder of John Lennon. Whether you think of him as Beatle John, laughing with the others and playing rhythm guitar, whether you think of him as Hippie John, long laired and in bed with his Yoko Ono and guitar, or you think of him as Commie John, dreaming of a world of peace and daring you to IMAGINE it with him, I hope you at least take a minute and think of him, what he really stood for and what he really meant to the real world.


You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.

THE ULTIMATE TRUTH IN BOLIVIA: Here’s the bottom line, Bolivians, and you’re not going to like it. This community has struggled since Day One to keep the country functioning, and in the last few months, it’s been a real fight with Argentina. The reason why they don’t care about us and see us as a mere obstacle keeping them from unfettered theft and aggression is because the community is small, and aside from a small handful, it’s very quiet. That’s a general excuse many PTO groups use to justify their actions, that no one really cared about them anyway, and if they did, they’d fight harder; while they’re the words of a group seeking to validate their criminal actions, in a real sense, they’re right. We can’t justify our claim on Bolivia if there’s only a hundred of us here, and only a tenth of them are in the newspapers, at the forums or IRC, giving shouts, or finding other ways to make an impact on a regular basis. Be grateful to our friends from Poland and Romania who gave come in to help even the score against the PTO and to fight against Argentine aggression, but we can’t count on them to forever bail us out. Everyone who cares about this country needs to find a way to get involved, and I’m more than happy to get people involved if they want to. I don’t have a lot of cash, I’m currently not in power, but one thing I always say, you don’t need a title or a medal to lead. If the Bolivian community is small, that’s one thing, size needs to be countered by energy. A small community that is lazy, unimaginative, and just tired of fighting, I’m sad to say, doesn’t deserve to be in charge of anything. I’m more than willing to fight for Bolivian independence, but I’m not going to waste my time or gold if there’s only five of us willing to fight; if that’s the case, I’ll talk the five of us into moving to a similar country where the community is spirited and fighting hard for its existence and its pride. Please, Bolivia, show me, once and for all, what you’re all about!