Swede Wars Episode IV: Käbbel

Day 5,534, 09:45 • Published in Sweden Sweden • by Fairlyorange


*dramatic music*
DUUUUN dundun duuun, dududududududududududu du du du duuuuuu


Episode IV:
Käbbel

It is a period of civil war. Nobelkommitten, striking from a hidden Discord channel, have,
in their own minds, taken control of the eSwedish government.

During the battle, eSwedish rebel spies managed to steal secret screenshots showing Nobelkommittens true nature and the plans of their ultimate weapon,
blatant hypocrisy.

Pursued by Nobelkommittens sinister agents, Fairlyorange races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen screenshots that can save his people and restore common sense to the galaxy…

*dramatic music fades*


Fairlyorange, at the new start of his eLife, looking at the eSwedish feed. Trolls and insults as far as the eyes can see.

… The members of Nobelkommitten hadn’t been seen for years.
As the government continue serving as eSwedens peacekeepers, the surviving Nobel members secretly begin plotting to overthrow them.

It’s October, near the end of the 2022nd year of peace, that Darth Kevin Bartholomew sets his plan to eradicate eSweden and seize control of the eSwedish government in motion.


Kevin Bartholomew, pre Order 66.

A few days before his plan begins gaining steam, a seemingly inconsequential event occurs that will come to affect the whole galaxy. A boy returns to the game after 12 years of inactivity. He renames himself Fairlyorange. His plan is to play the game casually - but Fairly’s destiny soon turns out to be a driving force to fight the Nobelkommitten.

Darth Kevin Bartholomew and his loyal followers attempt to fool the country by pretending to be a force for good. A force for change. The first few days, requests are reasonable.

They request that Umut, an old member of the community with secret ties to the old anti-plato communist party, MSAP, be made auditor general, to audit the country's finances. The idea is considered. But as the government discusses, the secret Nobel plan starts to unfold more and more with each passing minute.

Under the guise of being the only real opposition, they start accusing the government of stealing from the treasury. 2 million cc has been stolen by SuperG. Or is it 200 million? Countless figures are thrown around, with no numbers or proof to back it up.

Working with his Sith apprentice Darth Lobban, Kevin manipulates and manufactures tensions in the congress with lies. He is elected party president, granting him unprecedented power to further his plans.

The Nobelkommitten is ultimately defeated in the presidential elections, but the underlying damage is done.


Darth Kevin Bartholomew, showing his true self.

The mask falls. Nobelkommitten drop their act. Kevin orders his apprentice, Darth Lobban, to slaughter everyone inside the Jedi Te-... everyone inside the country feed*.

“Execute Order 66” is heard faintly from the offices of Kevin, an Order which requires all Nobelkommittens members to terminate anyone who isn’t in their party on sight and launches the great News purge.


Darth Lobban, leading the charge to belittle and insult every eSwede that dares show their face.


Nobelkommitten slaughtering the innocent citizens of eSweden on the feed.

Only a handful of eSwedes survive. Most too tired of the blatant bullying, racist comments and lies from Nobel to fight back. Meanwhile, Vatten, a young Jedi survivor of Order 66, decides to take the fight to Nobelkommitten. On the planet of Mustafar, he battles Darth Lobban in a fight for his life. The sith lord insults him, slander him, and everything Master Vatten says back is used against him, no matter how much worse the things Darth Lobban throws at him is. There is no end to the hypocrisy, and Vatten realizes he’s fighting a battle that no-one could win. Nobelkommitten simply cares not for facts, and he is slowly being dragged down to their level. He has to give up.


Jedi Master Vatten vs Darth Lobban - Battle of the fates, 2022. Colorized.

The surviving Jedi Masters; SuperG, Vatten, Jonce92, zzzingo and Jeppe.S, accept a deal from the people of eSweden and decide to go into exile to plan the eventual resurgence of the real government.

A rebellion is born.

In secret, under the radar of the evil Nobelkommitten, who are too busy trying to close TWs and recruit citizens from other countries for their PTO to notice, Rebel leader Misho, with his loyal SOG, are fighting back at carefully planned strike points. Many medals are lost by Nobelkommitten. A fact they start complaining about very loudly, while still trying to close TWs. (Wtf?)


Herr Vootsman fighting off Persej Fyromski

Nobelkommitten started building an ultimate weapon to combat the rebel activity. A weapon of epic proportions. They took over the media and flooded it with misleading articles, painting themselves as the saviors of the galaxy, here to enforce order, to draw international support. What they didn’t know, though, is that Fairlyorange still had the secret plans for this weapon. And he intended to use them.


A strong symbolism.

So, in order to combat the evil Nobelkommittens vote- and comment buying for their articles filled with lies, I am now releasing the truth. Below I will link screenshots of what Nobelkommitten is ACTUALLY like behind closed doors. Lies, racism, hypocrisy, sabotage, PTO attempts and all.

Bullying.




Meanwhile...


Racism.


Meanwhile...



PTO.






The mostly comedic nature of this article aside, Nobelkommitten has become a real issue. The screenshots shown above are real, and there are so many more from external chats I cannot show due to the rules of the game. These are handpicked from an absolute ocean of similar stuff that is going on in all eSwedish feeds and chats. The insults and bad behavior have transcended the boundaries of the game, and made eSweden a straight up hostile environment. Most of us has given up on talking to them, as all you’ll get in return is horrible insults, “whore”, “cancerous tumor”, “fucking pigs that should move back to Romania”, etc.
These are things they, of course, hide in places where the international stage cannot peek. The eSwedish discord, the country feed, for example.

They’ve shown multiple times that they will say anything to make themselves look good, but the statements hold no actual value to them.

Like the time they said they were only sabotaging the TWs because their principles wouldn’t let them fight against eSweden even in a pretend war, but then proceeded to fight for Greece against Sweden in the first real war of their time.

Or when their presidential candidate stated he wanted to unite Scandinavia, after which they proceeded to take a region from Norway in what was supposed to be a TW, and started taunting the Norwegian leaders on Discord.

That same candidate argued for eSweden to remain in Asteria, but a couple of days later allegedly started accepting packs from CODE to fight against Asterian interests.

They claim to stand for transparency and inclusivity, but tell people to go back to their own countries, and lie constantly on the feed and on the international stage, making new players confused about the actual combat orders in TWs.

Most of the worst things they’ve said on the feed have been removed by Plato for being too hostile, and I lack screenshots of this. Lobban and Kevin were even muted for 2 days after a particularly bad day of spewing garbage on citizens.

They’re no revolutionaries, they’re no saviors. They’re trolls and manipulators who have gone too far on multiple occasions, and still have the guts to claim they’re the ones getting bullied.

Signed Fairlyorange, REAL MoD of Sweden.