Sunday Edition 1, Episode 3

Day 670, 09:41 • Published in USA USA • by mjmnum1

*Ultradramatic tension-building music*

*BREAKING NEWS*

Hello, I'm George St. Pierre, your weekend anchor with critical breaking war news. Your regularly scheduled programmin, the Roundtable, will be seen next week. In a stunning turn of events, Russia went from standing on the brink of assaulting the Florida eCitadel to the brink of losing their entire North American empire. We've brought in retired announcer John Madden to explain the recent developments.

"(yelling) ALRIGHT! Here's what happened yesterday. Here's the play-by-play on the telestrator. Alright, we'll start in the north. Iran declared war on Canada, thinking they can come *BOOM* down like this, and lock up the Canadians. Then, Hungary can come sweeping down here and here, opening another front. WEEEEElll, huh huh, the Canucks had another idea! *BAM* down goes Yukon. Then, it's not looking so good. Northwest territories is kicking butt late into the fourth, then *BOOM* F/E tanks blast down the wall. I mean, even Brett Favre would have trouble taking out a 100k wall in 2 minutes, heh heh, you know? Just like that, Iran is booted out of North America.

Alright, here's the main play. Russia's slowing down their attacks, hoarding gold for a massive attack on Florida. This is the big one, then, *BLAMMO* huge mistake. Norway attacks the Russian mainland, distracting a mass of two-clickers. USA retreats Arkansas and Missouri, then wins Colorado. Just like that, the Rooskies lose initiative. *BAM!* Goodbye Illinois, *BAM* Missouri back to the US. Columbia's on the ropes too, fighting resistance wars all over the place.

It's not lookin' so good for PEACE, heh heh, you know? Fourth and long, then here comes the hail mary. France comes in with a surprise attack, driving all the way to West Virginia. We'll see how long that lasts, whether they'll be able to distract the US enough to keep them from kicking out the Russians."

Thanks, John. It remains to be seen if this is the day that will be viewed as the turning point in the war. Nonetheless, the map will be greatly changed by the time the servers reset again. Goodnight, and fight well.