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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

Sublime Cycle of Political Life of Homo Mattrimus

Day 3,962, 12:17 • Published in Bulgaria Turkey

• by Walpole

Ladies and Gentlemen of eBg!

Greetings.

I stand before you as a falsified man. I stand falsified in a most monumental way possible.

About two months ago, I had a little "friendly" clash with Mattrim underneath one of his articles , and I wrote:

My prophecy failed miserably. Mattrim is now your CP.

It seems, in this cyber eWorld of ours, Bulgaria is the ultimate land of opportunities, in which wildest of dreams, craziest of aspirations and most absurd possibilities come true.

Perhaps I should apply for eBg citizenship to put a CP medal into my profile. 😛

Nevertheless. I was mistaken. And, I am here to pay my fine for it.

But this time I am smarter. I won't prophesize about future. I will talk about the past and present.

Behold, the Sublime Cycle of Political Life of "Homo Mattrimus"!

1- An impeach legislation removes a president, and brings Mattrimus to power.

2- First day of the presidential tenure of Mattrimus. He is full of energy, He is ready to shock and awe, attack and destroy. For the glory of eBg, or himself, debatable, as we are unable to look into his heart.

3- 3rd-7th day of the presidential tenure of Mattrimus. Things go sour. The enemies he has choosen for eBg are not as weak as he thought. His presidency is not as efficient and skillful as he has dreamed. At this point, instead of making a through self-criticm , he conveniently thinks his fellow compatriots have betrayed him. What else can it be. He is so cool, he is smart, and others are not!

4- Mattrimus falls from grace as his presidency brings nothing but catastrophy to eBg. He is removed from office either by an impeach vote, or with an election.

5- Mattrimus in opposition immediately starts working for his return to the power.

6- At least 6 motnhs from his removel form the office, he is ready for another ride.

7- Restart from "1". 🙂

I was not able to write humorous articles for at least 6 months. I am glad that I break my fast at last. It was fun for me. I hope you have liked it too.

Cheers,
Walpole.

Bonus:

Comments

Princess Aspas.BG Day 3,962, 12:22

Пиши на български. Знаем, че можеш.

Walpole Day 3,962, 12:36

I cannot.

I can barely read it through Google Translate.

🙁

Princess Aspas.BG Day 3,962, 12:37

Лъжеш.

Walpole Day 3,962, 12:40

I am not.

Why should I?

Why would not I write in Bulgarian, if I could?

Kukulast Day 3,962, 15:26

Do you have permission to use these pictures?

dTrou Day 3,962, 12:23

turkce pirinc

JEAN FLEURY MALVADAO Day 3,962, 12:27

lol

Tuco is Back Day 3,962, 12:29

kanki sal

birde türkçe olursa eğer

Red 0wl Day 3,962, 12:31

Vurdu, gol oldu xd

Sylvanas Windrunner. Day 3,962, 12:31

vote

Momchil Day 3,962, 12:36

Слабо. Аз в кенефа като се напъна изкарвам по-забавна тролня хахах

Gias Gouliev Day 3,962, 12:37

Айде и аз да пиша един РУК и да ви казвам лека нощ

Dr.EsEs Day 3,962, 12:37

Aww what a lovely kido xd

carlitoMKD Day 3,962, 12:40

Trying to be funny with this bad and childish humour,can only give eyeburn on the eyes of the readers,and the genious author should be sent for psychic evaluation.Its a game and you should not post RL pictures from someone id*ot

Akaga Day 3,962, 12:43

Mattrim is good boy, and you good journalist o/

Blue and Black Day 3,962, 12:48

Pirinç.

Walpole reis o7

The Wolf Ozdag Day 3,962, 13:10

15.yoruma pirinç olur mu sana bulgur verelim

Blue and Black Day 3,962, 13:11

Bulguru çiğ yerim ben

Wipe0ut. Day 3,962, 12:53

I did have some respect for you. This is not even funny. (Maybe if you had some memes instead of the cancerous emojis and RL pictures it could have been) It's low tho.

Become The Beast Day 3,962, 13:10

Mattrim is walpole's girl xd

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:18

air damage:

1. Bulgaria- 21,382,012
2. Croatia- 12,369,117
3. Greece- 10,428,490
4. Serbia- 9,401,802
...
8 . GUR-GUR-Landia- 6,175,475

GUR GUR GUR

Kukulast Day 3,962, 13:24

А бе тва хомо нещо като педераст ли е?

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:38

пуснах му едно репортче, дано и админите не са гейчета като тоя 😁

Walpole Day 3,962, 13:35

Are you asking a medal or something for you to burn lots of EBs in a perfectly avoidable and unnecessary war sparked by a perfectly idiotic CP? 😐

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:40

yo, do you have the balls and give some of your RL pictures 😉

Kukulast Day 3,962, 14:43

Ми то така става като си слагат снимките в Ряпата после турците въжделеят върху тях

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:38

Reported.
Here is my text for the report:

"This article contains photos of real life people.
Publishing RL photos of people without their consent is illegal.
Publishing Photoshop'ed RL photos of people and trying to show them in disguising light should be punished.
Only a gay can do this... "

CoronaMortis Day 3,962, 13:47

They are published on eRepublik already by consent of people on it because they'd be removed until now.

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:53

If you take a picture of Donald Trump which is public and photoshop it in a way to insult his personality then you will be arrested if you live in the USA.
There is a huge difference when you modify the original picture.

Anyway, I think you will not understand me.
As I said - only a gay can do this. Every decent man will not do this and will respect other personality.

CoronaMortis Day 3,962, 14:01

You're right, I don't understand you. I don't live in USA, Bulgaria or any other neo-nazi oppressive regime. I can take photo of my prime minister or president and photoshop it the way I like and I won't end up in jail nor pay fine. It's called satire and is widely spread in the most countries in civilized world.

buba4ko Day 3,962, 14:09

It is funny that a croat guy will say that he is not living in a neo-naci regime, wooow!
During the WWII, Croatia KILLED ALL THEIR GYPSIES. All of them.
That's why there are no gypsies in Croatia.

Meanwhile...Bulgaria IS THE ONLY country in the world who SAVED ITS ALL JEWS AND GYPSIES.

CoronaMortis Day 3,962, 14:15

Yeah, I remember what was happening 80 years ago in nazi regime and I never spoke against those crimes and now I am 100 years old and playing this game.

And about gypsies. Ohhh, if only you are right! Unfortunately, there are a lot of gypsy villages around my town and they are a huge problem in community. They steal, deal drugs and prostitute themselves. :/ If you are proud on your gypsies maybe you will want to accept ours as well.

Reaksiyonist Day 3,962, 13:50

Posting your RL picture on Facebook or any social media account and keeping it open public not limited private. Then compailing for this is lame sorry.

buba4ko Day 3,962, 13:58

I see now that the author has deleted 1-2 of the pictures and changed the other pictures that RL picture is not visible.
So he listened to what I was saying 😉
It is sad that he did not thanked me 🙂