Someone prepare a welcome party!
Day 1,189, 16:29
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Published in Ireland 
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by
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by Joachim von Bremen
Myth:
Britons are a danger to Ireland.
Fact:
You have a better chance of being hit by a meteorite ten times in one day than surviving without British help.
Hi, I’m Joachim von Bremen. Some of you may not know me. Some of you may know me very well. If you are a part of the former group, you are stupid. Here are some of my credentials:
- Former PEACE SG (in September-October 2010)
- 3 time Minister of Everything in the UK.
- Probably CP at some point, I dunno.
- What, like 5 times in congress or something?
- A buttload of other stuff probably.
So that’s quite nice. One other thing about me is that I love Ireland. A lot. It’s a beautiful place, and I buy frozen goods from them frequently. I can really see why mothers go there. For that reason, I have joined your fair citizenry today. I hope to be one of a long line of great British imports to Ireland - like Charles Stanford, Jeremy Irons, and, of course, civilisation.
What are my plans while I’m here? Well, I intend to join the noble political movement of unionisation between the UK and Ireland. Here’s an interesting fact: did you know that 80% of the Irish population would be in favour of British occupation? It’s true. It is a policy contained within 3 of the top 5 Irish parties’ manifestos. It would bring us more regions, more resources, more citizens and more power. And all we would have to do is sit back and let the Brits do all the hard work. They’d start the war, fight the battles and take the regions. We could just sit back and enjoy the glorious sight of culture, finally arriving on our shores (a thousands years late, mind).
But 20% of you are yet to be convinced of the great benefits of a British occupation. Well here’s another interesting fact. Did you know that if Ireland doesn’t become a British colony within the next decade, the Queen has decided to pull the plug on Ireland altogether? She will accept it as a failed project, and the island would sink into the sea to be lost forever, along with Bono’s career and countless discarded potato farming tools.
Don’t let this happen. Let’s unite the UK and Ireland under the Union Flag.
Together, we can do this.
PS, thx Maddog for letting me in 2 ur cuntrie LOL!
Britons are a danger to Ireland.
Fact:
You have a better chance of being hit by a meteorite ten times in one day than surviving without British help.
Hi, I’m Joachim von Bremen. Some of you may not know me. Some of you may know me very well. If you are a part of the former group, you are stupid. Here are some of my credentials:
- Former PEACE SG (in September-October 2010)
- 3 time Minister of Everything in the UK.
- Probably CP at some point, I dunno.
- What, like 5 times in congress or something?
- A buttload of other stuff probably.
So that’s quite nice. One other thing about me is that I love Ireland. A lot. It’s a beautiful place, and I buy frozen goods from them frequently. I can really see why mothers go there. For that reason, I have joined your fair citizenry today. I hope to be one of a long line of great British imports to Ireland - like Charles Stanford, Jeremy Irons, and, of course, civilisation.
What are my plans while I’m here? Well, I intend to join the noble political movement of unionisation between the UK and Ireland. Here’s an interesting fact: did you know that 80% of the Irish population would be in favour of British occupation? It’s true. It is a policy contained within 3 of the top 5 Irish parties’ manifestos. It would bring us more regions, more resources, more citizens and more power. And all we would have to do is sit back and let the Brits do all the hard work. They’d start the war, fight the battles and take the regions. We could just sit back and enjoy the glorious sight of culture, finally arriving on our shores (a thousands years late, mind).
But 20% of you are yet to be convinced of the great benefits of a British occupation. Well here’s another interesting fact. Did you know that if Ireland doesn’t become a British colony within the next decade, the Queen has decided to pull the plug on Ireland altogether? She will accept it as a failed project, and the island would sink into the sea to be lost forever, along with Bono’s career and countless discarded potato farming tools.
Don’t let this happen. Let’s unite the UK and Ireland under the Union Flag.
Together, we can do this.
PS, thx Maddog for letting me in 2 ur cuntrie LOL!
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Welcome to our beautiful country, JvB!
I can't help but laugh. You guys are so funny. Sincerely.
I smell a fish
Maddog is Ginge pass it on.
The more you know indeed.
Hey JvB! I have an Irish State Secret I want to sell to you. Going to the highest bidder.
No cash?
Well, I will tell you anyway cause I wanna kiss some Brit ass to save my own skill come invasion time.
The State secret? Oh, yeah...this is the secret...but don't tell anyone cause they will banish...here it is...
SOD OFF BRIT TWATS!
I understand the words you used but they don't make sense in the order you put them in. I guess the UK doesn't use logic.
Oh and "Hi."
bleh... blame OJ 😉
glorious sight of culture, finally arriving on our shores (a thousands years late, mind)
LOL, ROFL etc.
Thousands years ago Irishmen were spreading literacy among savage invaders of the British isles...
Now that was an effort : )
Sure are a lot of Yank images there, hhhmmm, A yank dressed in a Read Coat? Seems so, welcome to Ireland, now, log off and finish those multiplication tables before mommy call you down for din din.
Brit's troll Ireland?
Successful in total failure, woeful trolling
Hi guys! Some interesting points here!
>I smell a fish
That would be because Ireland is an island and you are never far from the sea. Or maybe you are in the frozen fish isle.
>SOD OFF BRIT TWATS!
Agreed! Hopefully no-one with UK citizenship will post here.
>I understand the words you used but they don't make sense in the order you put them in. I guess the UK doesn't use logic.
I am not aware of any problems in the above text. If there are mistakes, please forgive me - but I think it is readable nonetheless! And I agree, those with UK citizenship are not very logical!
>Thousands years ago Irishmen were spreading literacy among savage invaders of the British isles...
I'll just have to take your word on that one.
>Sure are a lot of Yank images there, hhhmmm, A yank dressed in a Read Coat?
Is two 'a lot' in Ireland? That's probably why we ran out of potatoes all those years ago! I do not think a coat made of reeds would be a feasable option, though.
>Brit is troll Ireland?
I'm not sure.
I hope I've addressed your concerns, guys!
😮
I misused an apostrophe... That really put me back in my box...
...
Such a lame troll
Sorry Joachim I was wrong. It was over a thousand years ago. Here, get some education:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiberno-Scottish_mission
Those Brits were so grateful for those monasteries! It's such a shame they accidentally destroyed all of them.
Connell, if you could give me some pointers I would be very grateful.
I always intended to burn my school to the ground... So I understand them хD
"You have a better chance of being hit by a meteorite ten times in one day than surviving /with/ British help."
Fixed.
Surely that was a possessive apostrophe Connell and you were addressing the citizens of Ireland 😉
You don't put possessive apostrophes on 'its', Sean.
The key is to realise that apostrophes are, in fact, a type of omissive apostrophe. When you say "the president's impeachment", you are actually saying "the president his impeachment", but omitting the 'his'. Now obviously you would not say "it its legs" instead of "its legs". So you just go straight for the latter.
See? You're all learning so much off me already. I have a lot to bring you all from the wonderful world of the institution of British private education.
I do not necessarily agree with this fellow's message, but for some reason, I do like his style.
Who approved his citizenship application? maddog, of course.
And who approved maddog? Why, none other than our minister of Defense -- OJ the Juiceman.
One last month. Two this month. Four next month. Then eight, then 16, and so on.
How's that maddog citizenship working out for you, Juiceguy?
LETS UNITE UK AND IRELAND, FOR THE WIN!!
Shut up Gonzo, id rather have ginger Maddog than you, hell id take 20 maddogs for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Marcus, because in this case, it looks like you'll get it.
This Joachim guy looks like good Costume Party material.
*sigh*
Where is the IRA when you need them.
>reply butthurt comments to troll thread
>JvB: Instant victory
Connell, I am still waiting on your trolling advice. Please deliver ASAP; I am struggling for material.
BRITS OUT OF THE 5 MEDIA SPOTS
AND THE 6 COUNTIES!
Yet another Brit buffoon who thinks hes ereps answer to Cromwell... ah well at least there consistent in a silly sort of way I suppose.
Funny! Thanks
I sense much fgtry in this article. *jedi hand wave*
Cool Story Bro
Or as they would say in England, "Riveting tale, chap"
Now get out.
lol
"Where is the IRA when you need them."
FFS Brian, I'm going as fast as I can!
Any who
You may have made a mistake. With all your (assumed) incredible political abilities, the eUK has been left rudderless.
For all you know, I could be PTOing them with a band of bearded Croats riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight now........
*strokes evil goatee