Shock Horror [ESO] style

Day 1,655, 16:00 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Citizen 4945322

(Some distressing Goat Scenes inside)

Shocking revelations tonight as ESO Presidential candidate and head-honcho jamesw has been revealed to have sexually assaulted an employee of ESO. The goat, which would like to remain un-named due to personal reasons, claims that as a kid she was fondled by the future president. This news follows the previous shock-horror story about the coalition "THAT NEVER WAS".


Face has been blackened out to protect identity

These allegations, which have been kept under wraps by the goat for many years, have come to light as jamesw succeeds Rawdon. Said a high-ranking Canadian ESO member, on behalf of the party: "It is jamesw, he's always putting his penis places it doesn't belong".

The goat has said that if it wasn't for the other members, he would have gone public days ago. However, he doesn't feel that this should affect the party's chance of winning the CP elections. It is likely, however, that rival parties such as TUP and UKPP will jump at the chance to slander him.

In conclusion, jamesw fondled Kevin the ESO trivia a goat.


So, we ask you, the reader:

What are your views on these shock allegations?
Do you ever fondle goats?
And what is your quest?


Moriarty

Another picture has been released showing jamesw playing with an even younger goat, whose identity is unknown. Experts think that the goat pictured was probably traumatised so much it went to a mental hospital in Kent. Here it is: