Senate Election Results - Map included

Day 492, 14:28 • Published in USA Canada • by Emperor Rick

Polls closed midnight last night, and the results are in!

Big wins by the United Independents Party, coming from 4 seats to 8 now.

Unlike the last election the US Workers Party has been able to secure all the big states like Florida, California, Illinois and etc, and still manage to hold a majority in Congress despite some close races with the Conservative Party.


We have a visual of the countries political landscape now


If you check back with our older article you can see that the landscape has dramatically changed. One could say that the Uncle Sam scandal has contributed to this.

http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/ered-and-eblue-states-presidential-election-coverage-maps-included--747150/1/20



Before we begin our "State Quick Facts Edition" we need to address a problem which has been plaguing the Arizona Republic.... Quick Facts is suppose to be a satire lulz edition from Encyclopedia Dramatica. Nothing stated should be taken to heart. We have had a few users bawwwwwwww about our content, and to be honest its getting old.

No one is forcing you to read our paper. If you don't like it, don't read it.
If you don't understand it, give up and become an hero.

And now for something completely different....

(DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IS A SEPARATE ISSUE ATTACHED TO THE AZ REPUBLIC -
THE QUICK FACTS EDITION IS MEANT TO BE A SATIRE ARTICLE FROM ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA, DON'T GET BUTT HURT IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE LULZ.)

Quick facts about New Mexico

Medium Grain Resources
53 Citizens (as of March 26th, 14:09, Day 492)
Q1 Hospital
Senator: LoneStar22 of the United States Workers Party


New Mexico is a nuclear dumping ground located somewhere between Failafornia and Texas. There is absolutely nothing there except for Albuquerque, Injuns, Beaners, and an occasional alien or two. People call it New Mexico because not even shitty OLD Mexico fucking wanted it anymore.

History

At least 100 years ago some Indians (feather, not dot) who thought Mexico wasn't hot and dry enough, got lost and wound up in New Mexico. They started being driven out due to a lack of lulz and an influx of white people, which eventually led to the Pueblo Revolt. Then later the Mexicans came and started war with the whites, claiming to have "hecho le para los lulz." The Mexicans let the Indians back in, and they started casinos. Last Thursday, the white people moved back to make meth and retirement communities.

tl;dr - There was nothing then, there is nothing now.

New Mexico Today

Being one of the few states not horribly effected by the recent recession, either because you can't bailout a ship that's been sinking for decades, or because there is enough resources to be semi-sufficient in surviving without the rest of Dumfuckistan, their neighbors continue to see a need to get even by raising the cost of living by doing asshole things like driving into the state. Literally, just them passing the border costs the state somewhere along $54 a person, and that's not including them coming to blow their wad at Indian casinos and STILL buying up land and vacation homes for their privledged, oil-rich selves.

If the insult wasn't the injury, Comcast and Qwest, in their ever-loving wisdom and h8 on places with no money, have decided to make the state's internets power level nil. Polar bears in Alaska and nigra on stolen computers in Atlantis can access their MySpace friends faster than a speeding Kenyan, but the desert must continue to suck on Comcast's digital dick waiting over 9000 hours for their Demonoid files to work from the NMSU servers.

On the subject of state college(s) now, there is talks of voting out the current Administration out of BOTH, along with some community colleges across the board, because they want moar non-existent money from the hands of already dirt-poor students. In fact, if not for Terminator: Salvation being forced to use local students, the recent burlesque shows bringing in some meager wads of cash to community and state colleges, and also a huge rise in medical studies on new doomsday virii, the only things that would be left to fund were football from two failure teams and the open-close political speeches of yester-year. But oh yes, there's obv. more money for people that had nothing to do with any of it.

Good things about New Mexico

* A-Bomb
* Cheap as fuck houses.
* Most of the mexicans are not illegal.
* Can drive alone at fucking 15 and a half.
* Can drive fucking fast, and extremely well, at all times of the day and night.
* All the Boy Scouts go to Boy Scout Mountain or Elephant Butte during the Summer so we don't have to put up with their shit.
* It doesn't rain, period.
* Pick up a nice homeless girl, then drop her off in any shallow grave as you see fit.

Bad things about New Mexico

# Radiation
# Too many injuns.
# Too many mexicans.
# Too many homosexuals.
# Too many hippies.
# Given the density of people of the four groups above living in Santa Fe (and the two above), Santa Fe has the highest density population of people who smell like ass.
# Not enough niggers to whip the shit out of, but that's not suggesting you should try in Hobbs or a certain scary street of the ABQ.
# Not enough Asians to do your homework for you, thus bringing down the average. Worst still, the Yellows in the state are mostly in the Triad.
# For the people who live there, they have to put up with Boy Scouts in the Summer. Some lulz gained when the fat shits wearing $300 "hiking" boots and carrying $500 in survival gear get lost.
# Almost as fail as Kansas for being LANDLOCKED and still having hurricanes and tornadoes turning most of the state into Atlantis.