Secret Lairs are always fun

Day 1,401, 15:08 • Published in Israel Israel • by Sam Krak

A Special Report from inside a secret lair.


Hey eIsrael!

Ummm....yeah. Came back 30 days ago and we managed to get completely conquered by Turkey, which was the same as when I left. This isn't a good sign, which my friend will reiterate below.



So, where does this leave us? Resistance wars have started, though we've yet to see any progress in them (Here's hoping!) Congressional elections are basically screwed, and even the media died (2 articles out when I published this guys.

WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING!


It didn't work for Hillary, but it should work for us.

If you guys aren't fighting, if you're not listening to the messages your eIDF command is giving you, you need to start doing so. The only way we're gonna start getting land back is by working as a team. Heck, we need to do that as a country too once we get back to full power. But for now, let's give eTurkey all we got. Cuz I want some eTurkey for dinner. With eStuffing.


Damn, that looks good.

Welp, Imma head out and continue my journey into the darker areas of my secret lair, still haven't explored the whole thing. Looks like I got a long way to go.



Very Respectfully,
Sam Krakower