Scrotal Herpies: A Story of Mexican Manufacturing

Day 1,133, 20:38 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Theus Jackus

The after christmas sales that have become a much loved spectacle of the holiday season is a source of great joy for many families. People go around to their American Eagles and their Pc World's buying this that and the other with their many vouchers and cash notes. Everybody loves a great shopping spree, even Bill Syphullus, who is the most miserable man on the planet. Now you may be asking what makes Bill so grumpy? Well there are a variety of factors, but mostly because he's jewish

But anyway back to the story.

Bill was a man of little material posession. He owned few things outside of his house and his car. A book about stuffing rats, a spatula he bought as a souvenir from his trip to wales, a one eyed parrot called squawkbox and his large peanuts. However, it was christmas, so Bill decided to buy himself a pair of trousers.

Bill went to every trouser shop in the known universe (including the Gap 😮) but he couldnt find a colour he liked. Depressed and sexually aroused, he resigned himself to an evening of slowly feeding his large peanuts to his parrot.

But then he saw it! A stall with a small mexican man standing behind it. He had only one item. The most beautiful pair of trousers he had ever laid his eyes on. He got to excited that his ears exploded causing a gas leak nearby. A cat died as a result

He approached the mexican with great caution. "EXCUSE ME SIR, HOW MUCH FOR THAT PAIR OF TROUSERS" he said in his inside voice. The mexican looked pleasantly surprised. "I'm afraid you must pay a terrible price, gringo". Bill shook harder than Michael J.Fox. "You must put your large peanuts in my mouth". He did so with great precision.

The mexican was bloated but satifisied. He handed over the trousers and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Bill laughed.

He went home and put on the trousers. He was pleased and went about his daily business.

But the next morning, Bill's scrotum hurt more than an altar boy after special post sermon bible studies

He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with herpes. He was sad 🙁 Bill could never trust another man again.

So kiddies. The underlying lesson is. Don't drink a bottle of wine and then write a story at 4:30am. you might just embarass yourself like I did