Join the new world

I was finally home. The familiar warmth of spring was beginning to defrost the hard ground as well as the spirits of the men. I had done messed up so bad they gave me a rank. The amount of severe screwing up i had done was reflected in the amount of praise ,of the covered up confidential report that to those not in the know of what really happened, for i was thought to be the most clever and well abled soldier since that guy was made into a cyborg with a laser eye. Oh shit i thought, are they going to put a laser in my eyeball i thought. The doc was showing me my new mnemonic chip that something something sciencey smart talk would copy me into a machine so if i died they would print out a new body, supposedly, then imprint the sheathe with my brain inside of it, supposedly, with no ill effects, supposedly. I never liked it when the super science people got all smiles and happy cause it usually meant some mad doctor science experiment was going on. If they in turn were upset and worried it usually meant some of their experimental science things had escaped or were about to rampage through the lab and kill everyone, usually. I nodded to the smiling lab doctor thinking i wouldn't rampage too much, maybe just a little if i got all cyborged out.
Calmly i asked when i was going to be implanted and how long would i have to be in recovery. after i bit of a stutter he then told me i was already on the last day of recovery...of two weeks. Supposedly. Instad of going on a rampage i nodded and thought of all the groceries in my shack that might have gone rotten or most likely it had been cleaned out by theives so i have nothing to worry about anyway. As i got up to take a nice relaxing shit a courier delivered a briefcase with my new orders. So i have reading material for my squat.

Ticket that allowed freedom of travel for the holder to any place in the world. The world had become chaos and someone figured out a way to make money from it, as usual, with securing airport military license so they were all considered a neutral power. Great, i was now underway with a starchy collar and a briefcase set to find a secret soviet submarine filled with nuclear warheads or something, supposedly. However my plans were interrupted by a large club to the back of my head.

I woke up with that familiar i had been kept chemically sedated for a lot longer than a couple of hours, days even. I was being wiped down by a large busty woman in scuba suit with a lubricated jelly as i was chained to the ceiling and floor. I was a flesh hammock with not so comfy and warm shackles attached to fairly thick chains bolted to either side of the very metallic looking walls. He head was covered in a strange tiger like helmet and not a single bit of skin showing on her form. A noticed a gas was filling the room but somehow i had become resistant to the fumes. Another rubbery clad person entered pointing to me causing her voluptuous form to back away quickly. Apparently from the small clicks they were talking to each other via headset comms. A high pitched whining beep sounded in my ears so loud it felt like a violent attack on my senses yet as it subsided the garbled words then foreign language began to sound understandable. The mans voice was asking me with a prod of a small rod i assumed was a cattle prod of some creation if i knew any Serbian. No i said of course i dont. He laughed then jabbed me with the rod sending wriggling shocks of pain through my ribs. The chained shackles on my feet and hands seemed to focus the electric shock more as if that was their purpose.

After a long and boring conversation to which i will save you the recording of he began to ask me how i wanted to die. Of course i said i would prefer not to but if i must with the large rubber clad woman that seemed to enjoy wiping all this weird grease on me. To which they both laughed much harder than i felt was comfortable. Explaining that the grease was actually a nanite compound that would dissolve the human parts so they could safely recover my newly acquired implants. Hardware skinning they said. I could feel something tingling but it wasn't dandruff shampoo. After a good while of awkward silence, then minutes of frustration of the officer in his more majestic tiger helmet exclaiming what was taking so long to them eventually discovering what happens to a red bloodied american man who stares at a large busty woman in very tight fitting outfit who is also covered in what feels like grease. supposedly. There was no laughter but there was curiosity as they both looked at me..or..ahem, it..long minutes whispering that it should have melted off almost an hour ago. Then the room creaked and shook, the sensation of soft rubbery bodies slipping and sliding over my body was felt, many hands grasped for something to hold onto and i felt i had made a friend somewhere in that brief moment of darkness. The sound of a klaxon whirred and a thud against metal was heard vibrating through the walls. My two guests left very quickly leaving me alone in a dimly lit room with the door opened. This was the first time i met gabby. The form of a large cat with glowing red eyes and all the teeth and claws of any nightmared demon came slowly into the room. Too many blows to the head, flesh eating machine goo and way way too much drugs had fully rotted my brain into a baked squash for sure i thought. Just as i was about to covert to a new religion the machine cat said it was here to rescue me. The thing made short work of the chains anchors to the walls as the chains were newly minted the walls were not. So i was naked except for..chain whips i exclaimed in a suddenly rush of blood to my head. Turns out we were in a submarine lost and refitted into a launch sub. the cat machine gabby, i named gabby because it barely spoke as i ended up having to carry on the conversation. Ending up in the silo room thought to be empty so we could escape through there turned out to be filled with three fully armed SLBMS ready to fire and 10 more prepping as the arming sequence was being run as i was then informed by gabby that a small force was trying to find me or rather they were investigating the for the missiles but found me as well. Making it big deal as we were also so close to homeland of the red,white, and blue that the deterrent system would not be able to destroy any of the missiles until they got closer to Nevada in distance.

So i tried shitting on a missile, cause that worked before.supposedly. But it did nothing but make me feel much better as the street chicken like meat on a stick dinner i had no telling when ago was cooking up in me like a baked potato in a hot dog cart. As we walked from console to console attempting to do hackery computer stuff the sound of a couple of armed guard coughing as they made noise about something. One vomited so i jumped him first.Knocking him out and kicking the other one back but he reacted poorly as if afraid to step into something as he desperately grabbed onto the railing instead of his gun. I pointed the small smg at him as he made horrible faces but surrendered. I winked at my bum leavings, saving the day once again. I tied up the two guards to a supply locker where i found an old jumpsuit made for inspecting radioactive leaks. Finally remarked one of the guards that had been at eye level with my american pride missile for too long. After a good minute of trying to hack into the mainframe with the robotic companions wire jack thingy it said would work i got a bit antsy. The drugs or lack of or the weird sensation of having ones skin feeling greasey and melty got my hyped up. so i began just hitting things with this honking big wrench. I smashed a weird bolt near one of the tubes and a red light came on, so i kept smack those until all but one came on.

I screamed i did it! at gabby who then replied with some BS that it had managed to trigger a safety lockdown with the hatches blah blah, no i hit the weird knob thingies i won. to which the robot voice told me those were the manual emergency purge that required two men to unscrew but i had been cyborged up so i had destroyed them. After what seemed like a blinking flash light show of murder by wrench and short smg fire, and a few boring ole robot cat chompy claw fights we managed to get to the topside to see the most wondrous site. 12 nuclear missiles floating in brightly colored balloon bags. As we then had to use as the submarine was then diving, taking its one missile with.

Ones mind begins to play with itself as you lash together a dozen country destroying missiles within each another dozen warheads. enough to oblit every inch of your beloved land and people. I kept that nuke balloon party together for three days and four nights until a rescue chopper dropped off a box of rations for two weeks worth as i had to wait for the USS Nimitz III to arrive with the real rescue and securing of my babies. My sweet children were later on took from my breast and i never got to see them again. They said i could visit them one day if i was ever given clearance.

My children and that robot cat never wrote to their daddy or called. When i asked how they were doing, they said they were doing just fine, supposedly.


join me next time when i figure out my brain chip is just fifteen pages of LSD and a cherry blowpop.