Save The Onion, save Melissa Theuriau!?

Day 384, 02:48 • Published in Sweden Sweden • by TSM's Nyhetskanal

As you all know Sweden, US, Canada and UK is all in the middle of a war against France together with Spain, USA, UK and Canada.

Officially ATLANTIS just wants to wipe out France and make PEACE even weaker, but the truth is that the French are denying us free access to Champagne, Mona Lisa and Melissa Theuriau. To be frank most of the countries within ATLANTIS were not too disturbed by this but our MoD ran berserk when he was informed that he will not be allowed to keep Melissa Theuriau as a permanent presenter of news from the Onion! Misho managed to convince the Swedish president Danny and several other leaders within ATLANTIS that he would to attack Norway just for the lulz unless we make the French suffer for denying Melissa to present the news in the future.



The plans for a Real WW started with minor interruptions when Benn Dover thought that Mona Lisa was some kind of European TV producer who was threatening to buy the TV rights of the Super Bowl. We all explained to Benn that there is no way in hell that Europeans would ever care about Super Bowl (Tupperware item. No. 233n-12?) which made Benn was truly relieved.

As for the orders to all Swedes with arms, they are quite simple this time and are by no mean at all secret.

Just destroy all French regions in front of you and keep an eye out for Melissa! There is a 100 GOLD finder’s fee from Misho to the one that delivers her to his place. Remember to use the hospitals and do NOT fight without weapons.

Operation French Toast has begun!
Kape
Commander-in-chief, Sweden
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Svensk version:
Sverige, Spanien, Kanada, USA och Storbritannien är i krig mot Frankrike. Officiellt är anledningen till kriget att ATLANTIS en gång för alla ska degradera PEACE till att vakta sand i öknen.

Den riktiga anledningen är att Mishos och The Onions nyhetsankare Melissa Theuriau hålls gisslan av onda fransmän, ATLANTIS hjälper honom att leta och vi kommer därefter att stycka upp Frankrike som älg av tjuvjägare!

Allmänna order utgår till samtliga svenskar med vapen enligt nedan.

Krossa Frankrike och rädda Melissa! Misho erbjuder 100 GOLD till den som levererar Melissa helskinnad till hans hem. Slåss med vapen och använd sjukhus för att få full wellness igen. Se även till att ni har vapen wellness till nästa region som ska köras över.

Operation French Toast har börjat!
Kape
Överbefälhavare, Sverige