Rotten New Zealand

Day 1,093, 12:20 • Published in New Zealand New Zealand • by MisterBeefhead

Something is rotten in New Zealand. Taxes have gone up, yet surprisingly, the cost of food has risen! I'm no economist, I can't explain how this happened. I'm no congressman, I don't know how to fix this (maybe raise taxes more?) But until this mystery is solved, we need to come together, not as economists, not as New Zealanders, but as... sheep lovers.

I've seen some of our young and hungry brothers eyeing the sheeps in a most unsettling way. Sheep are NOT good to eat. In fact they're probably poisonous. Poisonous... but brilliant. For it is from the sheep we find our salvation. Just eat grass!

Grass is nutritious and delicious, it is readily available at low prices. And the government isn't just sitting on its morbidly obese butt, drooling and farting like a bunch of wildly incompetent stinkypants, no, they are going to make grass even more affordable, by raising the grass tax!

By raising the VAT on grass, we can reduce prices, while maintaining our lavish military spending. All those guns and foods your PCO's have been handing out? Thank the grass tax!


The NZSAS preparing for battle!