Romance is dead!!!

Day 2,051, 11:18 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by mick cain

Wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying,
send me your tears. I love you!
...
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied,

"I am on the toilet. Please advise."


Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital,
wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and
nose.

A young student nurse appears to give
him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles
black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,
"I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and
feet."

He struggles to ask again,
"Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure
and heart rate from worrying about his testicles,
she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood
in one hand and his testicles in the other.

She looks very closely and says,
"There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask,
smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful.
Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"