ROBOT CONSPIRACY TO TAKE OVER AMERICA EXPOSED

Day 4,767, 17:03 • Published in USA USA • by Pony Express
"The Most Honest and Greatest Newspaper in the World"

By Gnilius Fiferian

In a shocking revelation, it has been revealed that over 40% of the US voting population has been identified as bots, including the entirety of several major US parties. When asked to comment on this, President Chickensguys stated 'We have known about the robot presence for some time, and are in on-going negotiations with their leader to see if a deal can be reached to prevent the eApocalypse from destroying all sentient, biological life in the eUSA."

It is believed that the mission of the robots is to eradicate all humans who are capable of independent, cognitive thought, and wish to be ruled by an actual human being. While the President works hard to try to stave off this onslaught, Secretary of Homeland Security Dominar Rygel XVI and his staff are hard at work searching for the origin point of the robots. The DHS Secretary told us "We believe we have identified the OBL of the robotic insurgent organization, and will stop at nothing to root them out and save America. We are currently exploring options to combat his secret weapon, codenamed 'Mastercard Black' before it is too late."

All we can tell the American people is to remain vigilant. Your neighbor could be a robot. Your eWife or eHusband could be a robot. For all you know, YOU could be a robot! No one is safe as this massive conspiracy threatens to engulf our nation in absolute mayhem. One thing is for certain, the administration of our fearless leader President Chickensguys will stop at nothing to 'Make eAmerica Human Again', and stop this threat to all of us once and for all.