Regarding the Invasion of Wales

Day 1,047, 13:15 • Published in Canada USA • by Myles Robinson

Dearest Canada,


In my last article, where I was stopping by the eUK to say hello, I drew attention to the fact that you had taken the ballsy move of hitting Wales despite all of those nasty MPPs being there to stop you from succeeding. And, hey, you did really well for the attempt and drew the battle out. Great job; you continue to prove Canada's coolness. In the end, though, you were defeated by the Redcoats and their horde of allies. I must admit, though, that I am not displeased with this outcome. Wales has a much greater purpose than becoming part of the Canadian empire.


As you probably have heard, eNew Zealand is among several countries that are set to come online this week. I have joined this fledgling and active community on the Official eNew Zealand Webforums and our #eNewZealand channel on the Rizon IRC Server. The community has elected me to establish and lead a provisional government until one is elected via game mechanics-- so we now have a Foreign Ministry (speak to Azaret), Trade Ministry (speak to Devoid), and more. Interested people can even sign up for the eNZ mobile forces or home forces, which are organising themselves at this very moment. Fun stuff, eh?

My intention here, though, is not strictly to tell you about eNew Zealand. There are other articles from our excited future eKiwis to do that. No, here I come with a pledge, made specifically to you as the last people to attempt seizing Wales. As you may know, New Zealand is known for its sheep. Wales is also popular for its sheep. However, the poor, inferior Welsh sheep are kept under the tyranny of Redcoat rule, and are kept separate from their smarter, better-looking, and fluffier cousins in New Zealand. But, because we are in love with those sheep and wish them to be successful, we cannot stand idly by.

Therefore, as Provisional Leader of the eNew Zealand government, I am announcing one of the first major long-term foreign policy objectives of the new nation: New Zealand intends to conquer Wales. The Welsh will one day be under our flag, and the sheep shall be united. The United Kingdom will have the choice, when we finally arrive, to either surrender the sheep or suffer the wrath of the mighty Kiwi Fist.

We just wanted to let Canada know first since you're pretty cool and it borders you. So long as you are not harboring any sheep from us, our future empire will not go beyond Wales to threaten you. Anyways, feel free to come visit our forums or stop by #eNewZealand on IRC. If ya wanna move, we're more than happy to have you.

Love,



~Myles Robinson~
BAH RAM EWE