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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

Realistic Goals and Hot Women, a Platform

Day 826, 21:07 • Published in Canada New Zealand

• by Ozymandias Malifozik

It's the 23rd of the month, and the latest news tab is flooded with the Congressional Platforms of hopeful citizens. Almost every platform is the same, stuffed to the brim with the most outlandish and idealistic promises imaginable in order to get elected.

While looking at these, i've noticed a lack of 2 things that actually should be in a Congressional Platform:

1. Obtainable, realistic goals or promises for the next term, and

2. Hot, interesting, or sexy pictures.

In order to make up for the lack of any of that in anyone else's platform, I'll over compensate in mine.

Goal #1: I will to work to simplify our ever increasing database of laws that everyone forgets until someone high up violates it. I will work towards eliminating old laws that aren't enforced anymore, updating our current laws, and listing them in one convenient document.

Goal #2: I will help create a new citizens message that doesn't need to be updated every time a new President enters office like the one that is making its way through congress right now. I will work towards a new citizens message that can be as long as we wish, editable at any time, and in any language that we want through the use of a single link in the in-game message and an off-site wiki or document.

Goal #3: I will work towards expanding the CAF to tanks and new players alike, increasing our damage in battle and increasing the retention rate of younger citizens.

Goal #4: I will work towards finding funds for and renewing the Sol War Games MPP on time so that the citizens of eCanada have somewhere to vent their anger everyday.

Qualifications:

I have served three terms in the eCanadian Congress

I served as Minister of Immigration in the 5th Jacobi Cabinet

And, I little to no RL social life, perfect for eRepublik.

A vote for Ozymandias Malifozik in PEI is a vote for real attainable goals, experience, and more pictures of hot women.

Brought to you by The Adult Party

Comments

powerown64 Day 826, 21:16

Do your promise the citizens of eCanada Hot Women for Wives?

Yonsil Day 826, 21:16

Why don't you launch a p*rn site here in eRep?
Seriously..

Dycey Farley Day 826, 21:17

It's great to have you back in Canada - Best of luck on your campaign. (This is when it's great to be a chick - I actually read your platform!) voted

Trenton Rendell Day 826, 21:17

reported

Ozymandias Malifozik Day 826, 21:19

😮

powerown64 Day 826, 21:20

reported Trenton, for reporting the awesome article

Ozymandias Malifozik Day 826, 21:22

you can't silence awesome!

Lucas Snow Day 826, 21:24

Do we get Megan Fox if we vote for you? Does she come with your platform?

Ozymandias Malifozik Day 826, 21:25

That can be arranged, Lucas Snow

😉

Ozymandias Malifozik Day 826, 21:30

"pictures in which persons do not have at least knickers (and bra, in case of women) are CONSIDERED to be pornography. "

Gah. Prudes.

Edited*

CG Holdings Day 827, 20:51

lol, I believe you title should have been "Realistic Goals and a Hot Woman, a Platform"

And here I was hoping for someone other then the usual.

Kronos Q Day 827, 21:07

Goal #2 is nice. It's one thing I noticed about the message.
It's phrased as if coming from the Prime Minister, whereas if you actually look to see who it's coming from, it's the Admin.

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