Potraga za velikim jajcima! [The Quest for the Big Balls!]

Day 742, 15:53 • Published in Serbia Serbia • by Brue
ENGLISH VERSION IS DOWN BELLOW, SO PLEASE SCROLL DOWN!


Sledeća epska priča će biti ispričana u desetak nastavaka.
Nadam se da će vam se svideti. Malo šale, malo smeha na račun e-istorije. I nadam se da će tako biti i shvaćeno.


Nekada davno, u eAustriji.



Gomila eHrvata i eSrba, živelo je srećno i veselo zajedno sa svojim domaćinima. Vesele pesme su se pevale po celom dvoru, a eAustrijanci su bili oduševljeni sa glasovnim mogućnostima eBalkanaca. Niko nije gledao na druge sa mržnjom, a nacionalne boje nisu previše naglašavane. Skoro svi su bili u euforičnom izdanju...Skoro...



Sira, putra, vrhnja, mleka,
Jajca i krumpira.



Jajca i krumpira.
Jajca i krumpira.
Jajca i krumpira.



Sira, putra, vrhnja, mleka,
Jajca i krumpira.
Sve to vozi v beli Zagreb grad.



Ide Mile lajkovačkom prugom
lajkovačkom prugom ide Mile
ide Mile sa još jednim drugom
sa još jednim drugom ide Mile



Ide Mile, gori mu cigara
gori mu cigara, ide Mile
ja poznajem mojega drugara
mojega drugara, ide Mile!



Ide Mile lajkovačkom prugom
lajkovačkom prugom ide Mile
ide Mile sa još jednim drugom
sa još jednim drugom ide Mile



Ne mogavši više da podnese e-srpske pesme na dvoru, veliki e-hrvatski junak, Borkan, željan mira od eSrba, odlučuje se na dalek put kroz sivu zonu, do eSlovenije, kako bi tamo našao utočište za svoje sunarodnike od pogubnog uticaja eSrba.



Put je bio stravičan. Gusta, siva magla obavijala je istočne granice eSlovenije.


(Junior levo, Borkan desno)

Napokon, kad je već pomislio da svog vernog pratioca Juniora mora pretvoriti u juhu i tako preživeti teško putovanje, kroz magluštinu se ocrta čuvena e-slovenačka tvrđava.



“Ohoj deželo! Imal koga doma?”

Nakon par minuta neki eSlovenac izađe na bedem.



“Kdo ste in kaj želite?”
“Ti bogca Juniore, bit če teže za sporazumevati se no kaj sam mislil.”



“Stari, ja sam Borkan, kralj svih eHervateh, Neptunov trozub od Hvara, Presvijetli Ban zagrebački, pobijednik mnogih bitaka na strani eRumunjske...”
“No, no, dobro, e-hrvaški reči? Slišal sem, da so eHrvati nimate jajca, ne?



“Tko je to kazao? Tko govori takve prljave laži! Mi imamo jajca!”
“Mi pravimo, nič- kat jajca pri eHrvata ”
“Es ti Gospe! eHervateh IMAJU jajca!”
“Ste prišli, da nas napadajo?”
“NE! Hteli smo..."
“Evo, sem vedel! Nimate jajca!”



U to na bedeme izađe još jedan e-slovenački vojnik, zevajući, vidno smoren drekom ispred zidina.
“Kdo naredi hrup?”
“Nekateri eHrvati.”
“A, oni ki nimajo jajca? Napad nas?”
“Ne, kot ponavadi...”




“Čuj stari, hajmo mi zapalit, ovi mi eSlovenci postaše mrskiji od onih eSrba u roku od 5 minuta.”
“Kak vi zapovjedite, gospodaru”

Potpuno iznerviran, naš junak Borkan se vratio u eAustriju. Posle priče po mračnim hodnicima i toplim krevetima dvora, uspeo je da ubedi eHrvate da mu se pridruže u borbi za stvaranje eHrvatske. Prikupio je oko sebe velike vitezove, poznate u e-svetu.


(s leva na desno: Sucko, Subasti, Borkan, Mogwaiii, Koka-ch)

Čitajući raznorazne rukopise, saznali su da je potrebno da izvedu prastari ritual prizivanja eBoga - Admina.



Naime, potrebno je klečati određeno vreme i ponavljati “o moćni Admine, o moćni Admine”, što oni i učiniše.



“Ko me zove? Ko mi remeti odmor u Konstanci?”
“Ooooo Veliki Admine, mi smo eHervateh i mi bumo želeli da imamo našu lijepu državu, da sami gospodarimo njom!”



“eHervateh. Hmmm...Hmmm...Prvo, da znate da ne možete da me lažete! Ko od vas tu ima jajca? ALI ISTINU DA ČUJEM!”



“Ovaj....”
“Pa...”
“Kak bi rekel...”



“Dosta! Bah. Dobro, ima vas, vidim, dobićete državu...ALI! Pošto ja volim rat, morate napadati ostale države u okruženju. Pošto nemate jajca, morate ih pod hitno nabaviti! Bez jajca nema poštene borbe! Hoću borbe, hoću ratove, hoću hiljade golda da se slivaju u kasu! Jasno??!!”



“O hvala ti veliki Admine...šmrc...”



“Ovo je tako potresno...ja, ja, plačem od sriječe...”



“TIŠINA! Pošto ne znate, ovako izgledaju jajca! Morate poći u veliku potragu i nabaviti sebi jedna! Tja dva..no nebitno, i jedno vam je bolje no nijedno! Srećno, i da znate, SAMO VAS GLEDAM!”



Admin tad nestade u nebesima, a mala ali odabrana skupina vitezova krenu put nove e-države – eHrvatske.


Nastaviće se.... Vrlo brzo....




ENGLISH VERSION:
(translated with Arssen's unselfish help)

The next epic story is going to be told in following ten (or so) articles.
I really hope that you will like it. Its a bit of laugh and jokes at account of e-history. And I really hope that it ll be taken that way, without hard feelings.


Once upon a time, in eAustria.



Lots of eCroats and eSerbs were living in happiness with their hosts. Light-spirited songs were sang over entire court, and eAsutrians were delighted with singing capacities of eBalkans (eCrats, eSerbs and some others). None looked others with hate, a national “colours” were not so pronounced. Almost all were in theirs the most euphoric release...Almost...



Chees, butter, cream, milk
Eggs and potatoes!



Eggs and potatoes!
Eggs and potatoes!
Eggs and potatoes!



Chees, butter, cream, milk
Eggs and potatoes!.
All that go to Zagreb white city!

(NOTE: above is eCroatian song, bellow eSerbian song)



Mile goes by Lajkovac railway
By Lajkovac railway goes Mile
Mile goes with one more friend
with one more friend there goes Mile



Mile goes, while his cigarette burns
cigarette burns, Mile goes
I know my friend
My friend, there goes Mile



Mile goes by Lajkovac railway
By Lajkovac railway goes Mile
Mile goes with one more friend
with one more friend there goes Mile



Because he couldn't bear e-serbian songs in the castle, the great e-croatian hero, Borkan, in desire of peace (not THE Peace) and nirvana far from the eSerbs, he decided to start long voyage from eAustria to eSlovenia, with an idea to find sanctuary for his compatriots far away from devastating, by his opinion, influence of eSerbs.



The voyage was terrible. Tough, gray fog was at the eastern border of eSlovenia.


(Junior at the left, Borkan at the right)

At last, in the moment when he thought that he would need to make soup OUT of his trustful companion Junior, so he could be able to survive that bloody trip, amidst the fog a famous e-slovenian castle appeared.



“Ahoy! Anyone at home?

After a few long minutes one e-slovenian soldier came to the top of the castle's bastion.



“"Who be you and what be thine business in these lands?"??”
&quot😉amn, Junior, it'll be a lot harder to talk with this e-slovenians than I had thought.



“Old chap , I m Borkan, the king of all eCroats, Neptun's trident of the Adriatic sea, holy Ban of the Zagreb, the winner of many battles on the side of eRomania....”
““Alright, alright, very well, an eCroat say you? It be heard that eCroats don't have balls, right?



“Who said that?? Who's spreading those filthy lies? We have balls, of course we do!”
“We have a phrase here – nothing, as the balls in eCroats”
“Bloody hell! eCroats have balls!"
“Soooo, ye be coming here to attack us then??””
“Noooo! Actually, we wanted to..."
“Ha, as I've said, ye have no balls!”



Meanwhile, one more e-slovenian showed up, tired of all that noise outside.
“Who's screaming in front of the walls?”
“Some eCroats.”
“Ah, the ones that have no balls? Are they finally attacking us?”
“Nah... Still nothing.”




“Look mate, lets go back, in under 5 minutes these eSlovenians made me hate them even more than I hate eSerbs.”
“As you like, my lord.”

Completely irritated, our hero Borkan came back to eAustria. After some talks in dark halls and worm beds of the castle, he managed to convince most of the eCroats to join him in the struggle to make eCroatia. He gathered around himself the well known knights of e-world.


(left to right: Sucko, Subasti, Borkan, Mogwaiii, Koka-ch)

While studying some old manuscript and books, they figured out how to do great ceremony of summoning the eGod - Admin



It is necessary to kneel down for a while and to chant “o mighty Admin, o mighty Admin”, so they did it..



“Who's calling my name? Who just ruined my vacation in Constance?”

“Ooooo Almighty Admin, we are the eCroats and we want to have our own beautiful country, so we can govern it by our own will!”



“eCroats? Hmmm....Hmmm... Firstly, you have to know that you cannot lie to me! So, who has the balls in your camp? But I want to hear the truth!”



“Well....”
“Eh...”
“I might have seen some, but..."



“Enough! I have heard enough! Very well, you have numbers, and because of that you'll get your country...BUT! I like wars, so you are going to attack your neighboring countries. Since you don't have balls, you ll have to acquire them! ASAP! Without proper balls, there are no proper fights! I want battles, I want wars, I want thousands and thousands of gold flowing around! Is that clear!?”



“Thank you mighty Admin...sniff..”



“This is so touching...I'm, I'm, I m crying out of sheer joy...”



“SILENCE! Since you DON'T know, here is how the balls looks like! You will have to go on a quest and find one for yourself! Hm, actually you'll need a pair... but, never mind, better one than none! Good luck, but be aware – I'M WATCHING YOU!!”



Admin disappeared in the sky, and small but chosen band of knights started their voyage to the new e-country - eCroatia.

to be continued... soon...