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Writing good articles is a challenge. Not everyone has the talent or skill to do it, yet everyone can buy his\her own newspaper for just 2 gold. Under these unfortunate circumstances, it’s good to have a list of things you should avoid. Here it goes:

1. Vote/Sub begging

The general rule is the following: if people like your article they will vote it, and sometimes even subscribe. They don’t need you to show them how. While begging for votes, is slightly less pathetic than begging for sex, the true message is the following: My writing may not be a masterpiece, but I really, really need your approval! Pleeease!!!

2. SMS/IRC language

While using words like “Hail”, “Fail”, “OMG”, “Epic”, or “LOL” has the big advantage of easy understanding (especially for international readers), they also suggest an intellectual level worthy of a pre-pubescent caveman. You don’t need big fancy words to get your message across, but I’m confident your dictionary is a bit richer than this.

3. Unrelated pictures of women

The vast majority of guys love attractive women. Most erepublik players are guys. These two undisputed facts may open up the possibility of spicing your writings with pictures of lightly dressed galls. The problem with this marketing trick is as that people will instantly know it’s a marketing trick. Also, people don’t like being tricked.

4. Demotivator/meme pictures

There was a time when using Trollface, Rage Guy, and Forever Alone Guy in erepublik articles was a fresh idea. That time passed with the very first article of that kind. Pictures may say more than a thousand words, but recycling other people’s work is not the pinnacle of creativity.




5. Non-informative spam

This may be a surprise to some, but spam does not restrict itself to off-topic writings. A lot of articles are seriously intended to offer useful information, but end up clogging the media with worthless redundant junk. Therefore it’s wise to check out the latest news before posting the 49’th article on how your recent victory in the Broblon region is a neat thing. If you don’t have anything new and non-obvious to add, please, for the love of God, do not bother writing.

6. Ass-licking

There is a fine borderline between smart diplomacy and shameless vote-hunting disguised as cheesy ally worship. On the plus side, it’s easy to collect zounds of votes with articles praising the undying love between you and your “dear brothers”, but is it really worth prostituting yourself that way? Hint: it’s not very cool.

7. RL

I’m sure my Esteemed Reader does not any clarifications about the fact, that erepublik is just a game. It may borrow some superficial real life elements, but so does chess too. Yet, when the king takes a pawn, you won’t see that action as a sign feudal injustice. Here, you are no real elite soldier, and protesting Plato’s decision does not make you similar to those rebels fighting against Gaddhafi, and more importantly, you cannot make any historical injustices right. Thinking otherwise will make you look like a kid running around in the backyard with a stick, pretending it’s a photon-plasma cannon.

8. Unfunny cartoons

It’s hard to imagine anything more pathetic, than the sad attempt of the unfunny person to be funny. Just because you can draw/photoshop a rudimentary cartoon, it does not mean it won’t suck big-time. A good joke works when you can surprise the audience, and it doesn’t work, when the obvious “we won-you lost” punch-line is already in the title.