Plato's Pizzaria Vol 1

Day 4,564, 09:05 • Published in USA USA • by VoxHumana


I have determined that playing EREPUBLIK is a little bit like making a pizza.

No. I am NOT going THERE.

I metaphorically mean that when you play EREPUBLIK you are... making a pizza.

And every pizza is different.





Now in some ways, every pizza is also the same. There are certain things that every pizza must have or else it’s some other kind of food.

Dough, sauce, cheese = pizza

You can put all the sauce and cheese you want into a hoagie roll, and you’ve got a sandwich, not a pizza. You really need all three of those ingredients or else you’ve got something else.

I know all about “white pizza” and “tomato pie”. Trust me, I get it. But there is a difference between calling something a “pepperoni pizza” and a “white pizza”. One’s a “pizza”, the other is a riff.



In erepublik, you are a citizen interacting in the New World. One way or another you are interacting with people economically, politically, militarily, socially, and dare I say, emotionally.

You can choose not to interact with the news media or you can choose not to fight, but even if you completely ignore some of the game experiences, you are still in them. They are still the basics of what it means to be a citizen in the New World. These are the dough, sauce, and cheese.

What makes my favorite pizza different from your favorite pizza is going to be the herbs and seasonings, the toppings, the method of baking, etc. Change one ingredient and you have a completely different pizza.




Today I’d like to ask you what kinds of toppings you like on your pizza.

I’m specifically wondering about all of the different ways there are to play EREPUBLIK.

Here are some examples based on what I’ve seen so far:



Some people like sausage, pepperoni, bacon, meatballs, and salami crumbled all over the top of their pie. This is a high-protein, muscle pizza designed to bulk you up.

In EREPUBLIK, these are the big-ass tanks. The Legends of the Battlefields. Let’s look at a few.

Meet jaywalker71.


Jaywalker71 has no time for fresh basil or a drizzle of truffle oil. He is a meat pie.

In terms of rank, he is Legends of USA: Gnilraps Battalion XX. It doesn’t get any beefier.

He is such a one-man-wrecking-ball that his Military Unit was the third-highest in damage last week. And he’s the only member of the unit! He has a newspaper but no time to write, he’s too busy aiming and firing. If you want to be a meat-lover’s pizza, you might want to learn a few things from Jaywalker71.

Still need convincing? How about this:



Other Meat Lovers in eUSA? Patanok, obviously, who is the top-ranked tank. Then there’s O Bass, the beast from Easy Company. And while it is hard not to mention the obvious legendary Gnilraps whose legacy appears on the profile pages of nearly every Legend in eUSA, Gnilraps does not fit the model of Meat Lover’s Pie. More on him later.



The deliciousness of a pizza is at its best with a slice of Margherita Pie in hand. This is, in pizza parlance, proof of the form.

We all love shredded Mozzarella cheese, I know. But once you’ve bitten into the juicy goodness of fresh Mozz., combined with a leaf of fresh basil, and some fruity olive oil, that next plain cheese pizza you order from Papa John’s is not going to ever satisfy you in quite the same way again.

The Margherita Pizza Pie is the King of Pizza. It is food for the gods.

In EREPUBLIK, these are the boss-level politicians of our game. The CP’s. Our “Kings”.

Were I a veteran of this game I might be able to write more eloquently about some of the Margherita Pie Citizens of eUSA past. Here’s a glimpse of the history from the eusaforums Government boards:


Dizzying, isn’t it? And far too much for me to research for this article. But a quick scan of that list which only brings us through November ‘18 reveals some names that are already familiar to me and I’ve only been here three weeks. There is Melissa Rose, rainy sunday, Aramec, Gnilraps (again)... all names I recognize… players who have helped me out with their activity today as former CP’s.

But if I’m going to feature one citizen of eUSA who best exemplifies the Margherita Pizza Pie, it has to be our current CP, Tyler Bubblar.




This King among regents is in his fifth term as president! He has graced the halls of Congress with his wisdom 34, yes count them 34 times! He has led the Federalist Party as its President 10 times. He is a leader of men. He is our President, and he is a 24” Margherita Pie.

All Hail King Bubblar.




I may lose a few readers over this next category, but it must be said.

There is a fringe community in this world within which the idea of placing hunks of tropical fruit onto an otherwise perfect Pizza is acceptable. I beg my readers to bear with me.

Yes, pizza is a staple food, it is not constructed to be a delicacy. However, that does not mean we need to be barbarians about it.

Exotic flavors on Pizza are worth your attention, and there is no more widely recognized exotic variety of the stuff than a pizza with pineapple on top. (I like to add some hot peppers to my Hawaiian, but i’ll do me, you do you.)

In EREPUBLIK, these are our more unique citizens. These are the players who are only truly appreciated when they are standing out from the rest of the crowd. They are the loveable lunatic fringe of eUSA. And I mean them no insult, I myself have sliced a fresh pineapple and carefully placed its tidbits onto my pie like little alien visitors from another food planet. In fact, at some point in my future endeavors in the New World, you may actually decide that I, Krapis, am a Hawaiian Pizza.

I am Delish!

But I refuse to talk about myself.

So I had to do some digging to come up with a proper list of Hawaiian Pizza citizens. My first instinct was to look to the “Black Sheep Party”, as their moniker practically screams, “We are over here by ourselves! We are avant-garde! Baa!” That’s what a black sheep do!

I was not disappointed.

Players like Juma1a and King Harambe who vote against every bill passed by Congress with tangy confidence, and Arrden whose last campaign for a congressional seat was his article of secession from the eusaforums (a very interesting piece, everyone should read it!), these citizens contribute a polyrhythm to our dubstep society. But let’s not mix metaphors.

They are glacé!

These are “Black Sheep'' in the truest sense of the word, and I have no better way of showing my respect for them than to simply say: BaaBaa! (Which, ironically, was the sum content of Juma1a’s campaign for Congress!) I know I’ll get along great with you guys, and I look forward to any future interactions we will have in this game.

PINEAPPLE BELONGS ON PIZZA!

But if a Hawaiian Pie is known for its unique Pizzazz, a juicy sugar bomb in every savory bite, one need look no further than my own Party’s president, Aramec



By his own admission, he is an on-again-off-again citizen. He’s even died and returned with a new name. He’s a Hawaiian Pizza. Even people who love fruits on their pizza don’t eat them every time. They enjoy it, then they come back to it again in a few months when things with the bacon and buffalo chicken ranch get a little boring. So they order up another Hawaiian.

And Plato delivers Aramec.

I don’t know how many times he’s appeared and reappeared (I'd talk about "refrains", but I've already stumbled into one musically mixed metaphor mistake. Not again), but I happened to be born into this New World at exactly the same time of his current apparition. It was his rogue intrusion into the Government’s Public Executive Discussion Board that caught my notice. How could it not? My poor browser was trying to figure out what to do with Vietnamese text! Which is exactly how I felt the first time someone put a fruit salad on my pizza. WTF?

I ate it though, and I liked it.

I just won’t attempt to understand it.

Aramec is our very own Hawaiian Pizza Pie. Pizzazz!

(Will this be his Coda? Don't ask. Wrong metaphor.)



I would like to tell you more about pizza and EREPUBLIK, but I do not wish to compete with my new friend Paul Proteus (an Eggplant Parm Pizza for sure!) for lengthiest article status. So let’s call this Volume 1 of Plato’s Pizzaria.

Stay tuned for Volume 2 coming soon in the next edition of Finger Licking.

Meanwhile, let us know what your favorite style of pizza is.

And so that you don't miss Volume 2 of Plato’s Pizzaria, please subscribe, and...