Planned Parenthood

Day 1,559, 14:40 • Published in Philippines Philippines • by Slothen

Greetings fellow Kababayans!

Remember the time when we all were after the Eldorado missions? Remember the tender moments when you systematically spammed all your friends with erepublik invitations in hopes to secure yourself a Society Builder medal? Well, some of us still remember those times very well, for we have a solid reminder of them hanging on our wall.


These three missions alone require inviting 13 different people.

Throughout my whole eLife I have encountered and likewise completed many missions the administrators had come to throw at us. But there has always been a certain type of mission I could never even wish to complete – inviting friends to join this game. As such, many of these missions are still hanging on my wall, uncompleted. But what is this all about? Let’s have a look.

Erepublik is a massive multiplayer game where the true power lies undisputedly in numbers. Inviting friends to play this game is beneficial for everyone – the inviter, the invited, and of course the author of the game. Everyone is strongly encouraged to invite more people to play this game. There is just one rule: NO MULTIES!


Clone babies are adorable, aren't they?

Erepublik babies are adorable. They are valued. They are wanted. But like everybody is entitled to only one identity in the real world, no erepublik player is allowed to have more than one account. Sounds simple, but not everybody seems to be aware of this. That’s why the editorial team of the Sloth’s Journal is to erect a new campaign with an objective to raise awareness among the youth. Ladies and gentlemen, let us introduce Planned Parenthood.

Honoring its real life role model, the institution from which we draw most of our ideas, the Planned Parenthood campaign seeks to raise awareness among old and new players on the marvels and responsibilities of having babies.


We borrowed everything from the real life organization, including alleged corruption accusations.

The idea is simple; there are always people who haven’t heard of safe reproduction. There are two ways to do this; the right and wrong way.

The wrong way: Cloning is wrong.

If you doubt the argument in the topic, check any science fiction book you know. Also Hollywood spreads a very clear message. Cloning is wrong. Inviting yourself to the same party multiple times is never nice to other players who have worked hard to get more people to join the game. It is also against the erepublik rules, so you should avoid this always.

The right way: Invite someone that is not you!

There should be no place for other interpretations with this one. And no, side personalities and any other wonders of your consciousness you may want to consider as separate personalities do not count. You just have to learn to live with it. We all do.


Following our new custom, we will end this newspaper article with a bit of drama. The following is based on an event that took place over a year ago.

Disclaimer: Marie von Gablitz, nowadays venerable player in eIndia, seems to have the hobby of shaking erepublik communities wherever she goes. Some time ago, loyal to her habits, she did the same to the ePhilippines irc community by blasting the following comment when the concerned person was present:

Slothen is my multi 🙂

Bam! I surely didn't see that one coming. While this single comment is the loveliest expression I have ever seen linked to the context, a situation in which either of us is multi is would be very unpleasant for both of us. Be it compliment or not, the rules are the same for everyone; Creating or administrating multiple accounts is highly reprehensible and enough reason for permanent ban. But even though this confession is in itself pretty solid, it is still unclear which one is exactly the guilty. Since there can be only one who created and/or possibly administrated the other in the first place, ban sentences can be pronounced only after it has been proved either of us is guilty. And don’t think you can just demand verdicts on both of us; Marie and I are innocent until proven otherwise. Why, you may ask. Of course, we don’t want to condemn innocent people.

However, the problem still remains. We may never know which one of us is the multi and which is the mastermind. As a matter of fact, it could be anyone if you look up some basic facts about me and Marie. On one hand I am the oldest one, having joined the game in September 2008, while Marie von Gablitz saw the first light of the login screen nearly two years later. So this one would in principle make me the villain. On the other hand Marie seems to be the one who knows how to put me in my place, which, I guess, would go pretty close to ‘administrating’. We may never know, but this dilemma has to be solved some way. That’s why our next issue will be coming with the topic “How to defeat your own multi”. Don’t miss it! Subscribe to our newspaper to keep on tracks with us.


I told you I would be back! You must have forgot. Subscribe to our newspaper if you liked, or just to express your sympathies for the editorial team. But hey, it's just what you asked for. You pay in bananas, you get monkeys. Or a sloth.