Pizza Party Ruined By Marijuana Taxes

Day 1,519, 13:16 • Published in USA USA • by The Time Lord

Reliable News Unburdened By Facts

Letter From The Editor: Does anyone want a political party? I ran for Party President of a small party and now that I’ve won I’m not sure what I want to do with it. It only has 3 members, myself included, so it wouldn’t do any harm if I just sat on it for the month, but I would give it to someone who has more of a plan for it than I do for a little cash. Guess I should have thought this through more…

Pizza Party Ruined By Lack Of Pizza



It was a 15th of the month just like any other 15th of the month. Things were going well in the eUS, and they were going to get better because many of our citizens would be attending a pizza party later in the day. Then, suddenly and without warning, tragedy struck. Someone burned the pizza. The nation’s hopes of having a pizza party were ruined by the lack of edible pizza. People everywhere were heartbroken. Well, one person was anyway. It would appear that Pizza The Hut II is once again without a political party. After claiming that he was cutting back the time he spent on eRep Pizza tried to PTO the Libertarian Party, apparently not confident enough to seek re-election in his own party. What does this mean for America? We at ‘The Silhouette’ aren’t sure. However, we do feel confident that an extremely conservative and closed-minded new player is about to emerge.

Marijuana More Popular Than Ever In USA



In a turn of events that many would consider ironic, the lack of pizza has made marijuana users happy. Have evil scientists created a strain of pot that doesn’t give you the munchies so that they can placate the masses and quietly assume power over America and use the nation’s resources for their evil deeds? Are we all doomed to live out the rest of our lives as stoned slaves to these evil men? Is all hope lost!? No, it would appear not. Instead, with Pizza The Hut II falling in defeat to Jude Connors, the U.S. Marijuana Party has been formed. It remains to be seen if this party will have an agenda outside of, “LEGALIZE IT!!”.

Congress Blah Blah Blah, Something, Blah Blah Taxes



It seems that Congress, that group that is kept locked in a little room to keep them convinced that their actions have some real effect, has started looking in to the taxes of the US. We at ‘The Silhouette’ believe that the only people who actually care about what our taxes are at all are the super conservative nut jobs that are so opposed to taxes in real life that they carry that feeling over to eRepublik. That, and players who are successfully running multiple companies for a profit. The former are idiots, and that latter have more eRep money than me, so I hate them. The only reason this story is being added to this issue of my paper is because I always publish stories in groups of three. I didn’t want to rip my readers off, so I put this piece of crap together. Sue me! Taxes, psssh! They’re getting lowered to 18%, get on with your lives!

Happy Ditch Your New Year’s Resolutions Day America!
- The Time Lord