Pilot Article! Being a newbie is hard...

Day 3,294, 19:41 • Published in USA USA • by Yuuka Kazami


Welcome to the pilot of "The Daily Bungle" the only newspaper who's only selling point is being terrible at the game.

So if the only point is being terrible, why should you the reader, keep going? Assuming you aren't actually -gasp- good at this game, my mistakes will hopefully be your answers. For those of you who are good at this game, I'm banking on you being sadists for this to work.

How this game sets you up to fail

Assuming you don't sign up to fifty forum sites and fill out ten google docs per day I'm going to straight out say you're probably playing the game completely incorrectly. You're doing something dumb like battle fifty times per day and become level 30 while having around 300 strength.


That's you, no not the big one, you're the tiny one, and the rest of eUSA is the huge one.

What's the issue with this you might ask? Well, when you increase your XP and level, you don't actually change your strength, which is what makes the difference in battles. Sure the rank you are has something to do with it, but let's be real, at the end of the day, you might as well just be throwing it all away. Oh yeah and you'll never catch up to the old farts, they play the game so damn often that you'll never achieve their levels of strength, so really you should only battle in air battles.

So what do I do Mister Smarty Pants?



Well for starters, you join a good MU, like EZC (Easy Company), USAF (US Armed Forces) or BC (Bear Cavalry, the SFP MU) which give great supplies and benefits. You should also sign up to a party, like the SFP, or Socialist Freedom Party which will give you benefits like housing, supplies, and personal mentors to help you out.


The SFP is the third largest party in eUSA, and is far-left.

Oh yeah, take advantage of the national programs offered such as Bank Up 2 Strength Up which gives free gold, Meals on Wheels, which gives free food, and Arm America, which gives weapons for those fighting in Department of Defense orders.

Now that you've done that, you can wait for me to write the next article, which'll be about how the heck the eWorld works and what exactly is going on. Be sure to vote and endorse, as I may have spent 2 of my 2.66 gold on this newspaper 🙁

So, this is Komeko, signing out. Don't be a Mr. Bungle kiddos.

UPDATE: EUSA FORUM WORKS WHOOPS.
Don't worry too much about it because I'll be going more in depth in a bit.