PHOENIX does not actually exist

Day 808, 05:54 Published in Netherlands Netherlands by Thomas Fairfax

Swords and Ploughshares - A polemical rag of the worst kind

PHOENIX succesfully defends France from Spanish aggression. Polish attack on Germany defeated by combined forces of PHOENIX. Overwhelming numbers and superior organisation of PHOENIX troops defeat EDEN in the United Kingdom. These would be impressive headlines and practical proof for the new alliance - had they ever actually happened. But then, it is quite difficult for an alliance that doesent physically exist to achieve any notable military victories. And the only conclusion to draw from the facts is that PHOENIX does not actually exist.

Take a brief moment to study the facts of the recent battles in the UK. On the side of the imaginary PHOENIX are 17 nations,

Slovenia, population 5699
Argentina, population 6577
Latvia, pop. 2791
Indonesia, pop. 9160
France, pop. 1547
Brazil, pop. 12603
Serbia, pop. 31997
Hungary, pop. 24092
Turkey, pop. 6164
Russia, pop. 19106
Iran, pop. 6536
Estonia, pop. 1675
UNL, pop. 1219
Bulgaria, pop. 12409
Chile, pop. 1534
Lithuania, pop. 3165
Colombia, pop. 1610
UK, pop. 7475

TOTAL, pop. 155359


On the side of EDEN, 7 nations,

USA, population. 24673
Croatia, pop. 14218
Greece, pop. 7913
Poland, pop. 65372
Sweden, pop. 3548
Finland, pop. 1844
Canada, pop. 6344

TOTAL, pop. 123912


The difference between the two totals stands at 31447 heads of population, equivalent to the USA and Greece combined, if they were fighting for PHOENIX! If only this disparity were so obvious on the battlefield! Who exactly is not pulling their weight in the so-called PHOENIX? Perhaps such notoriously self-interested PEACE luminaries as Hungary or Indonesia. This newspaper suggests that PHOENIX's fault is one of organisation - that these heads of population are simply not being brought to bear on the battlefield, and one of good will - some of the supposed PHOENIX nations simply do not care for the organisation except when it serves their own interests. As solving these two faults is essentially the main purpose of forming an alliance, the conclusion must be drawn that PHOENIX does not in fact exist.

Swords and Ploughshares asks when the UNL will stop joining bad alliances based on other nation's self serving interests. PHOENIX has floated limply upside down, at the top of the fish tank, since it was supposedly formed, and we in Europe are now paying the price. This newspaper only hopes that now we will learn from our lesson and choose our friends wisely next time. If indeed, there is to be a next time.

All that remains is to suggest the following link, in the spirit of offering a productive alternative - The Entente, an alliance based on neutrality, mutual defence and non-alignment