Personae of the Mind

Day 585, 20:05 • Published in USA Israel • by Moishe

This is my newspaper. I am its owner, its publisher, its editor and its sole writer. Some day I hope it reaches Media Mogul - but I am never going to resort to buying subscriptions. I want you to subscribe, read, and comment because either you enjoyed what I presented, you found the content interesting or, in some way, I impinged upon either your sense of Society, or Honor, or Duty, or State of Mind.

With that said this edition shall be composed of two parts:

1) Some facts about the RL "Moishe" (as inspired by other articles of the same nature) and;
2) Some of my favorite jokes (as approved by my Rabbi).

To wit:

A Priest and Rabbi were both flying across country for personal reasons. As fate would have it they were seated adjacent to each other.

Shortly into the flight the Priest turned to the Rabbi and said, "Tell me something, Rab, and be honest. Have you never eaten pork?"

The Rabbi bit his lip and then said, "I must admit, once I did eat some soup that I thought was kosher but which turned out to contain pork."

"I thought so!" the Priest answered, his pleasure at the admission obvious in his tone.

"Now tell me, Father," the Rabbi said. "Haven't you ever had sex?"

The Priest turned red with embarrassment and then answered, "I must admit once, back in Seminary, while on vacation I did have sex."

"Beats the hell out of pork, doesn't it?" the Rabbi said.

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I live in North Alabama. I was born in Florida long before many of you were even considered. In fact your parents may well have not been born yet. It was 1951. Truman was President and American troops were involved in a little police action in Korea. I've had a life that has always been filled with excitement. I've worked in more fields than I could possibly enumerate mainly because I get bored easily and want to experience all life has to offer.

I served in the United States Marine Corps after finishing High School (Class of 1969!) Spent 9 months in Vietnam. Killed some fathers. Probably some brothers. Hopefully never killed a mother or sister but who knows? War is hell. There is no Wall in RL to beat down. Usually it is making widows and orphans.

I encountered my first computer while in the Marines. Upon returning to the States I enrolled in Crypto school and was sent to Vallejo, California (Mare Island) where I trained on the Univac Digial Trainer.

No keyboard per se. IO was via an old Royal Typewriter. No monitor. It had a grand total of 777 bytes (base 😎 memory. RAM was a Mag-core memory which was a 12 inch x 12 inch x 8 inch collection of iron rings each with three wires wrapping it. One to write a One (1), one to write a Zero (0) and One to read whatever the "value" of the byte was. Data was loaded via a yellow punch tape (similar to a teletype tape.

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A Rabbi and Priest shared a room and thought, since they also had services on different days they would go in together and buy a car.

One day the Rabbi saw the Priest sprinkling water on the car (baptizing it) so the Rabbi went out and sawed off three inches of the exhaust pipe. (Now it was circumcised.)

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Some of the jobs I have had over the years have been taxi driver (in Orlando); drywall hanger; tech in an electronics shop; bartender; manager of a Showbiz Pizza Restaurant; truck driver; lab tech in a water treatment plant; and (for the last 7+ years) commercial electrician.

My first personal computer was a Radio Shack Mini-Coco. It came with 8k Ram which was extendable to 28K with a $100 20k module. You had to write your own programs - typically in BASIC. Programs loaded via a cassette recorder and your "monitor" was the television. I wrote a (simple) flight sim program for it in Machine Language that a friend (who had gone to college) told me that computer could not run. I did not know that. It ran all right for me.

Back in the Seventies I sold herb for a while as a "sideline" which actually improved (I think) my ethics on a certain level. I'll share an anecdote about that sometime if I get enough requests.

I've been married three times (my current wife, Lilac, is #3 and the best I've ever met.) We celebrated our 19th Anniversary this past Monday, June 22nd.

I shook hands with Richard Nixon in 1968; with Johnny Weissmuller the same year; Guy Hunt (former Governor of Alabama) in 1986; Jim Folsom (his replacement) sometime in the early Nineties; and Jeb Bush (former Governor of Florida) around 2003. I've seen the Stones, The Edgar Winter Group, Santana, Cream, Mahogany Rush, Chicago, and Nazareth in concert.

In 1968 I was a licensed Baptist minister (licensed by my Church at that time). I later recanted that belief. I am now a converted Jew, Orthodox although not as observant as my Chabbadnik Rab would prefer.

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Marty McDonnel ran into the pub where he and Samuel Cohen often had drinks. "Sam! I have a joke for you!"

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"These two Jewish boys were...."

"Hold on, Marty!" Sam interrupted. "Why is it always two Jewish boys? Why can't it be two Puerto Ricans? Or two Chinese boys?"

"Well," said Marty. "Ok. These two Chinese boys were returning from their Bar Mitzvah when...."

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Alright, my ethics. I believe in honesty at ever turn. I would not steal a penny if I knew to whom it belonged. I do not mind the occasional vulgarity but I am totally adverse to vulgarity for its own sake. I think we should save those extreme terms for appropriate occasions. If we say GD etc all the same what do we have left to say when we smash our finger with a hammer?

I figure I might have, at the most, ten years of life left. My grandfather died at 56 (I am 57). My father died at 63. I plan to enjoy these final days as much as possible. You are all invited to the wake. Tell them "Moishe sent ya!"

My first "online game" was a text version of Star Trek I played on the Main Frame when I was in school at Florida Technological University. (FTU is now the University of Central Florida. Some wanted to rename it the University of Florida at Orlando but others were opposed to the UFO initials. I thought that would be cool for a university near the Space Coast.)

I am pretty active in Cybernations. My nation is ranked in the top 1.2% (of about 25,000). I am also somewhat active in "The West". I used to play Astroempires, Travian, and some others but eRepublik has began to demand nearly all of my free time.

I suppose there is a lot more I could add but this has already gotten "too long to read". Please subscribe so I can get that dayum media mongel award. And leave a comment because I am getting a Gentleman Jack buzz and would love to reply!

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Thanks for taking the time to read my mess. 😉

Moishe loves y'all!

~mo

P.S. Watch for the trolls - and don't feed them.