Party Prez August 2009

Day 630, 04:25 • Published in Pakistan Pakistan • by William Walker

Dear Crusaders of stardust,

I have candidated to become president of Diamonds is Unbreakable. party because I want to become the president of Pakistan.

Why me you ask? Well it is simple. First, I will declare the Holy Empire of Pakistan. The Holy Empire of Pakistan shall only be called Holy Empire of Pakistan and not 'Pakistan' alone. You can also just say HEP.

Second, thanks to citizenship we can make sure no non-pakis try to takeover our blessed and holy and delicious country with their infidel thoughts. There will be a strict control of citizenship and only true Dioists will be allowed entry into this divine land.

Third, HEP will become a theocracy. It's head will be the holy and immortal god Emperor Dio Brando. There will be a council of high priests which include prominent Pakistani figures. Mainly everyone in Pakistan who isn't in the Milli Vanilli's.

Fourth, there will be higher import prices for grain, so my company (Cervix Fetish) and other grain companies based in Pakistan can make profits. This is our only real industry since we don't have anything else. Only grain. Grain only. Só los grainos.

Fifth, I declare a fatwa upon Billy Bob Joe and Captain Sam. If you find these two individuals, kill them with your manly fists or pierce their hearts with your look of love.

That is all. Vote William Walker! Hail Dio Brando! Hail HEP!