ONE Unable to Conquer the Sprawling Urban Paradise of Nebraska
Day 1,326, 14:37
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Aeroner
Issue 2:http://tinyurl.com/2f4xvj6
Issue 3:http://tinyurl.com/2cob39g
Issue 4:http://tinyurl.com/47oxwjq
Issue 5:http://tinyurl.com/4trgal5
Issue 6:http://tinyurl.com/2a774b4
Issue 7:http://tinyurl.com/4akw5av
Issue 8:http://tinyurl.com/67dt9uj
Issue 9: http://tinyurl.com/6ya3hxc
_______________________________________________________________
ONE Unable to Conquer the Sprawling Urban Paradise of Nebraska
After weeks of intense fighting over the miscellaneous and and rural eastern coast states, the ONE invasion has come to a standstill, as military analysts explain that ONE cannot penetrate the sprawling urban state that is Nebraska.
After the invasion of the USA, ONE pushed on through the eastern countryside, mainly through open fighting through rural areas, and intense battles over miles and miles of wheat, grain, and Amerijuana. Taking over the lightly populated areas of New York and Massachusetts was a cakewalk for ONE, however once reaching the interior of the USA, their assault stopped in its tracks.
"Middle America has always been known to house most of our citizens, in it an area of the utmost importance." said a US official. "The huge sky-scrapers and urban environments of South Dakota and Nebraska cover most of the state. They're arguably the most important states out there."
Nebraska, a state of great industrial value, is home to millions upon millions of Americans, and has been a state of great importance to Americans all throughout its history. Nebraska is one state that Americans are not likely to forget, as the old adage goes "Everything worth happening happens in Nebraska."
As ONE approached these states of great importance, they could not stand up to the challenge that these states posed. North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, and Iowa are some of the most densely populated and important states of the US has to offer. Military analysts say that it will take ONE years to break through the industrial giants that are the Middle States.
It is no accident that the eUSA decided to stage its final stand here, in the Northern-Middle States. A well respected US official had this to say;
"We knew coming in that our only hope would Nebraska. Nebraska Nebraska Nebraska, that's where its all at. We knew we could stage a defense from there because of how much it meant to Americans, and what a deep respect Americans have for Nebraska."
Only time will tell if the Americans bet on the right state, but we have faith in Nebraska and her steadfast will, as we always have.
___________________________________________________________
eUSA Surviving on Fruit Loops and Rice Cakes
With no direct trade route to the capital of Washington, the bastion states of North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Minnesota, and Iowa, have gone without food and water for weeks. The states are relying on their own personal stores, which has been 'eaten' through, considerably.
"By this point we've resorted to filtering piss." Said one eUS citizen. "It's unsafe, but hey, so is fire."
As we approached a mother of four, we asked her what she was doing in these trying times.
"We're just trying to get by, really. With no more trade shipments coming in, we're surviving on our own."
When asked how she was providing for her four children, she replied;
"Four children? I only have three children." While she quickly brushed an odd looking bag away from us, hiding it under their makeshift beds.
We interviewed eUS officials, asking how they were planning on leading the nation through this.
One eUS official, handcuffed to a miniature dachshund and wearing only a leaf and two latex gloves, had this to say;
"As of now, we're working on this new technology that will let us take from the ground beneath us, and we'll be able to eat it. Cool, huh? I mean, right now, I have only two rice krispies and a $10 dollar gift card to Dick's Sporting Goods. TEN DOLLARS. What the hell am I supposed to by in Dick's for ten dollars? TELL ME. TELL ME."
Another eUS official was pleasantly sitting in a lounge chair sipping a margarita close by. It looked pretty normal, if he wasn't wearing the bear suit, of course.
"We got all our important shipments of veal from Washington. How am I supposed to survive without my baby cow? And deer? I LOVES ME SOME DEER MEAT"
In closing, he had this to say;
"If I eat another piece of grain I'm going to take a revolver to my temple, but not before killing everyone I love or ever will love."
This is the Treasure Map, reporting from the Middle American slums.
___________________________________________________________
Issue 3:http://tinyurl.com/2cob39g
Issue 4:http://tinyurl.com/47oxwjq
Issue 5:http://tinyurl.com/4trgal5
Issue 6:http://tinyurl.com/2a774b4
Issue 7:http://tinyurl.com/4akw5av
Issue 8:http://tinyurl.com/67dt9uj
Issue 9: http://tinyurl.com/6ya3hxc
_______________________________________________________________
ONE Unable to Conquer the Sprawling Urban Paradise of Nebraska
After weeks of intense fighting over the miscellaneous and and rural eastern coast states, the ONE invasion has come to a standstill, as military analysts explain that ONE cannot penetrate the sprawling urban state that is Nebraska.
After the invasion of the USA, ONE pushed on through the eastern countryside, mainly through open fighting through rural areas, and intense battles over miles and miles of wheat, grain, and Amerijuana. Taking over the lightly populated areas of New York and Massachusetts was a cakewalk for ONE, however once reaching the interior of the USA, their assault stopped in its tracks.
"Middle America has always been known to house most of our citizens, in it an area of the utmost importance." said a US official. "The huge sky-scrapers and urban environments of South Dakota and Nebraska cover most of the state. They're arguably the most important states out there."
Nebraska, a state of great industrial value, is home to millions upon millions of Americans, and has been a state of great importance to Americans all throughout its history. Nebraska is one state that Americans are not likely to forget, as the old adage goes "Everything worth happening happens in Nebraska."
As ONE approached these states of great importance, they could not stand up to the challenge that these states posed. North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, and Iowa are some of the most densely populated and important states of the US has to offer. Military analysts say that it will take ONE years to break through the industrial giants that are the Middle States.
It is no accident that the eUSA decided to stage its final stand here, in the Northern-Middle States. A well respected US official had this to say;
"We knew coming in that our only hope would Nebraska. Nebraska Nebraska Nebraska, that's where its all at. We knew we could stage a defense from there because of how much it meant to Americans, and what a deep respect Americans have for Nebraska."
Only time will tell if the Americans bet on the right state, but we have faith in Nebraska and her steadfast will, as we always have.
___________________________________________________________
eUSA Surviving on Fruit Loops and Rice Cakes
With no direct trade route to the capital of Washington, the bastion states of North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Minnesota, and Iowa, have gone without food and water for weeks. The states are relying on their own personal stores, which has been 'eaten' through, considerably.
"By this point we've resorted to filtering piss." Said one eUS citizen. "It's unsafe, but hey, so is fire."
As we approached a mother of four, we asked her what she was doing in these trying times.
"We're just trying to get by, really. With no more trade shipments coming in, we're surviving on our own."
When asked how she was providing for her four children, she replied;
"Four children? I only have three children." While she quickly brushed an odd looking bag away from us, hiding it under their makeshift beds.
We interviewed eUS officials, asking how they were planning on leading the nation through this.
One eUS official, handcuffed to a miniature dachshund and wearing only a leaf and two latex gloves, had this to say;
"As of now, we're working on this new technology that will let us take from the ground beneath us, and we'll be able to eat it. Cool, huh? I mean, right now, I have only two rice krispies and a $10 dollar gift card to Dick's Sporting Goods. TEN DOLLARS. What the hell am I supposed to by in Dick's for ten dollars? TELL ME. TELL ME."
Another eUS official was pleasantly sitting in a lounge chair sipping a margarita close by. It looked pretty normal, if he wasn't wearing the bear suit, of course.
"We got all our important shipments of veal from Washington. How am I supposed to survive without my baby cow? And deer? I LOVES ME SOME DEER MEAT"
In closing, he had this to say;
"If I eat another piece of grain I'm going to take a revolver to my temple, but not before killing everyone I love or ever will love."
This is the Treasure Map, reporting from the Middle American slums.
___________________________________________________________
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Comments
Who are these well respected officials? xD
Anyway great article Aeroner, voted as usual
Aeroner we love you. Voted from eIsrael.
....CANNIBALS!!!
Voted
This is some funny shite right here.
The Huskers are in the Big 10 now so that means that we've acknowledged the importance of Nebraska in real life too, right? RIGHT?
ahahahahaha.... win.
awesome, voted
LoL nice article.
you know what the "N" on the helmets of Nebraska football players stands for?
nowledge
Great article, i bet some foreigners actually believe this lol.
o7
\o\ \o| |o| |o/ /o/
Doin' the wave for Aeroner.
And, of course, for Nebraska.
I love this paper. It just keeps getting better every single time I read it.
Go Big Red.
CANADA INVADES EUROPE?!
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/canada-invades-europe--1817317/1/20
I have 1 little argument here, the reason its so hard to invade eusa is that they were give way more land than any other country. U think erussia the biggest country in the world should have the most land but no it was split up by 5 land. eusa should never have been given so much land to start. Just because of your states your given so much. to be fair we should allow one to invade u to show u how it feels to have only a few land. If u guys had less land war would been over ages ago.